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Many People Spend A Large Amount Of Money On Birthdays And Weddings

Many People Spend A Large Amount Of Money On Birthdays And Weddings BJwmV
Everyone might have heard about the big fat Indian weddings. The term diced with the prevalent culture of extravagant marriages held in India. Sadly, this is not only confined to India but witnessed in major parts of the world where larger than life celebrations have become a tradition. Lavish birthday parties and luxurious wedding celebrations are the reality of this century. Not only are these wastage of money but also wastage of food which could else be utilised to feed the hunger. For most of the humans, wedding is like a once in a lifetime affair which they want to commemorate with all the pomp and show. From the bridal wear to the meticulous detailing of the the decorations everything should feel like a fairytale. While I do understand, the excitement behind the weddings but what baffles me is the status symbol which families try to maintain by throwing such lavish parties. For instance the total expenditure of a billionaire's family member wedding in Asia is equivalent to GDP of one of the poor countries in the world. The glamouros extravanganza included private chartered flights for guests from all around the world and diamonds as return gifts. Furthermore, these celebrations are not only confined to the extravangance from the host side but also the guests tend to follow the trend by gifting expensive items. These overwhelming celebrations are all about captilaism and competition, niether the hosts nor the guests want to lack in anything. In my opinion while its alright to celebrate your special days but its important to control the extravagance and wastage. Its crucial that we understand, how these resources could help a poor family. One such deed would fetch you blessings from such underprivelged families. In the nutshell, while celebrations are important part of life and should be enjoyed with friends and families but its always good to be a bit prudent. The excessive resources can be better utilized with people actually in need of them.
Everyone might have heard about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
. The term diced with the prevalent culture of extravagant marriages held in India.
Sadly
, this is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
confined to India
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
witnessed in major parts of the world where larger than life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
have become a tradition. Lavish birthday parties and luxurious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
are the reality of this century. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are
Did you mean "this wastage" or "these wastages"?
these wastage
of money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
wastage of food which could else be
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
to feed the hunger.

For most of the humans,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
is like a once in a lifetime affair which they want to commemorate with all the pomp and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
. From the bridal wear to the meticulous detailing of
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
decorations everything should feel like a
Possible spelling mistake found.
fairytale
. While I do understand, the excitement behind the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
what baffles me is the status symbol which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
try to maintain by throwing such lavish parties.
For instance
the total expenditure of a billionaire's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
member
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
in Asia is equivalent to GDP of one of the poor countries in the world. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
glamouros
Possible spelling mistake found.
extravanganza
included private chartered flights for guests from all around the world and diamonds as return gifts.

Furthermore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
confined to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
extravangance
from the host side
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the guests tend to follow the trend by gifting expensive items. These overwhelming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
are all about
Possible spelling mistake found.
captilaism
and competition,
Possible spelling mistake found.
niether
the hosts nor the guests want to lack in anything. In my opinion while
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
alright to celebrate your special days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to control the extravagance and wastage. Its crucial that we understand, how these resources could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. One such deed would fetch you blessings from such
Possible spelling mistake found.
underprivelged
families.

In the nutshell, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of life and should
be enjoyed
with friends and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to be a bit prudent. The excessive resources can be better
Do not mix variants of the same word ('utilize' and 'utilise') within a single text.
utilized
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
actually in need of them.
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IELTS essay Many People Spend A Large Amount Of Money On Birthdays And Weddings

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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