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Some people think that it is better than if we do working from home instead travelling to workplace. Do you think advantages of working from home outweigh disadvantages. Give your opinion and discuss both views

Some people think that it is better than if we do working from home instead travelling to workplace. Do you think advantages of working from home outweigh disadvantages. Give your opinion and discuss both views RRqWP
People have differences views about working place. Some people suppose that it is better than if employees do a job at home, while others argue this statement with holding opposite thinking that workplace is better place to have good performances to do a job. From my perspective, I think the benefits of working from home outweigh the drawbacks. On the one hand, working at home has plenty of benefits for physical and mental health of employees. Workers are able to have a flexible time to do a job, so they do not have to work in a static schedule. Therefore, the emotional of them will be improve and they can do as well. For instance, in this moment, the working time beginning from 8am and finishing at 5pm, and a little time to take a snap. With that time, our physic body will be exhausted after the job at workplace is finished. However, if we have the working from home, we can take a rest whenever we want, as long as finish our mission as well. On the other hand, working from home still have some weaknesses, such as making employees lazier, less focusing to the job. Because of home, they are not under monitoring by their boss or employers. With the previous reason, the performances and the productivity of employees would be drop significantly, if they were not control their habits. Chatting with friend or doing shopping are the best example for this case, we can do it all of day if nothing will monitor us. Nothing is perfect and so do working at home. However, with modern thinking and responsibility. We are able to avoid bad habits which are also disadvantages of doing job at home. Therefore, The negative sides of working from home will not outweigh the positive sides. In conclusion, working at home or at workplace have differences about the advantages and the disadvantages. However, it is better than to doing jobs at home instead of going to work daily.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have differences views about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
place.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suppose that it is better than if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
do a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
at home, while others argue this statement with holding opposite thinking that workplace is better place to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
performances to do a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. From my perspective, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home outweigh the drawbacks.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of benefits for physical and mental health of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
. Workers are able to have a flexible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work in a static schedule.
Therefore
,
The phrase 'the emotional of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the emotional of
them will be
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
improve and
they can do
as well
.
For instance
,
The usual collocation for "this moment" is "at" not "in". Did you mean "At this moment"?
in this moment
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
beginning from 8am and finishing at 5pm, and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to take a snap. With that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, our physic body will
be exhausted
after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
at workplace
is finished
.
However
, if we have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home, we can take a rest whenever we want, as long as finish our mission
as well
.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home
still
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
weaknesses, such as making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
lazier, less focusing to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of home, they are not under monitoring by their boss or employers. With the previous reason, the performances and the productivity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
would be
Consider using a past participle here: "dropped".
drop
significantly
, if they were not
Consider using a past participle here: "controlled".
control
their habits. Chatting with friend or
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "going shopping".
doing shopping
are the best example for this case, we can do it
Consider using "all day" or "all of the day".
all of day
if nothing will monitor us.

Nothing is perfect and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home.
However
, with modern thinking and responsibility. We are able to avoid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits which are
also
disadvantages of doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
at home.
Therefore
, The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home will not outweigh the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home or at workplace have differences about the advantages and the disadvantages.
However
, it is better than to doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
at home
instead
of going to work daily.
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IELTS essay Some people think that it is better than if we do working from home instead travelling to workplace. Do you think advantages of working from home outweigh disadvantages. Give your opinion and discuss both views

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
334 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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