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Some people say that sex education should be taught in schools as a formal subject while others believe that there are more effective ways for students to access to sex education rather than teaching it at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Some people say that sex education should be taught in schools as a formal subject while others believe that there are more effective ways for students to access to sex education rather than teaching it at school. with the statement? 2R0yA
Opinions are divided on whether schools should add a formal subject relating to sex or pupils should get to this field through other better ways. I agree that sex education at school is a must, despite On the one hand, sex education could reduce the frequency that students have sex and also the danger of not understanding sex. First, Lon Don has recently etablished that about half of high school students admitted to have had sex at least once while only twenty percent of them know safe approach. Other studies in other schools which has taught students about sex show that only 30 percent of their students have had sex. However,
Opinions
are divided
on whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
a formal subject relating to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
or pupils should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to this field through other better ways. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
education at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
,
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
despite


On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
education could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the frequency that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
and
also
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of not understanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
.
First
, Lon Don has recently
Possible spelling mistake found.
etablished
that about half of high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
The verb 'admitted' is used with the gerund form: "admitted having".
admitted to have
had
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "sexed".
sex
at least once while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
twenty percent of them know safe approach. Other studies in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
which has taught
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
30 percent of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
.
However
,
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IELTS essay Some people say that sex education should be taught in schools as a formal subject while others believe that there are more effective ways for students to access to sex education rather than teaching it at school. with the statement?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
111 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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