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Some people think that it is better for children to have many short holidays.other believe that it would be beneficial to have fewer longer vacations.Discuss both the views along with your own opinion.

Some people think that it is better for children to have many short holidays. other believe that it would be beneficial to have fewer longer vacations. PRd22
In order to get relief from hectic schedule, it is considered by fewer people that several breaks should be provided by schools to children throughout the year. However, remaining believe that longer time Holliday have great impact on puplis. This essay shed-light on both the views along with my own opinion. To commence with, according to the section of society many short breaks provide a chance to students to spend time with their family members. The reason for this is if learners have a number of short holidays, they can visit outside with their near and dear one's. Owing to excessive syllabus, children have either no time or less to enjoy with families. Consequently, not only students remove their stress, but also can enhance relationships with parents. On the other hand, according to the some people longer vacations can expand children's knowledge. This is because after getting break of long periods, they can find part time and full time jobs. Apart from this, pupils also have a great opportunity to learn different activities such as dancing as well as singing. Therefore, having vast knowledge along with experience will always help to brighten the future of school children. For example, had one of my friends not got 6 months vacations, he would not have profound knowledge regarding acting field in movies. According to my perception although longer time holidays offer many benefits to students, this can sometimes reduce the interest of children towards study. Hence, short time holidays are effective for the betterment of the learned. To conclude, both short and long time vacations have own importance, but i presume that many short period holidays are sufficient for the betterment of pupils.
In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
relief from hectic schedule, it
is considered
by fewer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that several breaks should
be provided
by schools to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
throughout the year.
However
, remaining believe that longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
Possible spelling mistake found.
Holliday
have great impact on
Possible spelling mistake found.
puplis
. This essay shed-light on both the views along with my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

To commence with, according to the section of society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
short
breaks provide a chance to students to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their family members.
The reason for this is
if learners have a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
, they can visit outside with their near and dear one's. Owing to excessive syllabus,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have either no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
or less to enjoy with families.
Consequently
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
students remove their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can enhance relationships with parents.

On the other hand
, according to the
Did you mean "same"?
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
longer vacations can expand children's knowledge. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
after getting break of long periods, they can find part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
jobs. Apart from this, pupils
also
have a great opportunity to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activities such as dancing
as well
as singing.
Therefore
, having vast knowledge along with experience will always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to brighten the future of school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For example
, had one of my friends not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
6 months vacations, he would not have profound knowledge regarding acting field in movies.

According to my perception although longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to students, this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the interest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
towards study.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
are effective for the betterment of the learned.
To conclude
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
short
and long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
vacations have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
importance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
presume that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
short
period
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
are sufficient for the betterment of pupils.
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IELTS essay Some people think that it is better for children to have many short holidays. other believe that it would be beneficial to have fewer longer vacations.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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