Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many people believe that big businesses in addition to generating profits should be involved in and responsible for the social life of the community. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion. v.1

Many people believe that big businesses in addition to generating profits should be involved in and responsible for the social life of the community. Give your opinion. v. 1
Large organisation should participate in social welfare of the people. In the contemporary era, beside earning huge profits, social welfare measures go a long way to create a good image of the corporation. I totally agree that big businesses should be asked to be responsible for social well being and take appropriate steps towards the same. I will provide explanations in the ensuing paragraph of this essay. Firstly, giving back to the people, because of whom the businesses are able to make huge profits is a responsible act. In today's world, businesses are often criticised for their practices which creates many social issues such as pollution, exploitation of natural resources, accidents etc. In many cases it has been observed that businesses are making good profits, however at the cost of creating nuances in the place they operate such as their factories, branches, headquarters etc. Secondly, it is important that some part of the business earnings are invested in social welfare. There is a new concept of "Corporate Social Responsibility" commonly abbreviated as CSR in many countries. In some countries it is even mandated by the legislation because the government believes that rather than increasing the taxes on business profits and taking onus upon itself, it is better to ask businesses to partake in welfare measures such as the construction of schools, roads, parks, hospitals etc. This brings efficiency in providing infrastructure for the community businesses operate in. However, it is also noticed that businesses try to work around the loop holes and rather than upholding the spirit of the law. Hence as explained above, in my opinion large businesses should be asked to take steps to improve social welfare of the community they operate in. If required the government should enforce the same through statutory compliances. Thank you.
Large
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
should participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
welfare
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. In the contemporary era, beside earning huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profits
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
welfare
measures go a long way to create a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
image of the corporation. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
should
be asked
to be responsible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
and take appropriate steps towards the same. I will provide explanations in the ensuing paragraph of this essay.

Firstly
, giving back to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of whom the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profits
is a responsible act. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
Possible spelling mistake. 'criticised' is British English.
criticised
for their practices which creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
issues such as pollution, exploitation of natural resources, accidents etc. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases it has
been observed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
are making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profits
,
however
at the cost of creating nuances in the place they operate such as their factories, branches, headquarters etc.

Secondly
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
earnings
are invested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
welfare
. There is a new concept of
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Corporate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
Responsibility
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
commonly
abbreviated as CSR in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries it is even mandated by the legislation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
believes that
rather
than increasing the taxes on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profits
and taking onus upon itself, it is better to ask
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
to partake in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
welfare
measures such as the construction of schools, roads, parks, hospitals etc. This brings efficiency in providing infrastructure for the community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
operate in.
However
, it is
also
noticed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
try to work around the loop holes and
rather
than upholding the spirit of the law.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
above, in my opinion large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
should
be asked
to take steps to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
welfare
of the community they operate in.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
required the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should enforce the same through statutory
Possible spelling mistake found.
compliances
.

Thank you.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that big businesses in addition to generating profits should be involved in and responsible for the social life of the community. Give your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
298 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts