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Some people think that international car-free day will help in reducing fuel usage and air pollutions. Others believe there is an effective alternative to this. To what extent do you agree with this opinion? v.1

Some people think that international car-free day will help in reducing fuel usage and air pollutions. Others believe there is an effective alternative to this. v. 1
While many people believe that a day without cars across the world is a helpful way to increase the air quality, others are of the opinion that we should adopt other ways to preserve our environment and reduce air pollution. In this essay, I will delve into both views and provide my support for the latter view. It is evident that actions which reduce the consumption of fossil fuels is good for the environment. Nowadays, a large number of people are ready to get back to nature and start caring about our planet more. I believe that actions like “a day-off from cars” will bring results, because people have already achieved positive outcomes with a similar initiative called “Earth Hour” during which people turn off electric lights for an hour in order to show their commitment to protect Mother Earth. People are getting more and more informed about the negative impact of air pollution on their health and the health of future generations. Despite knowing that this initiative / idea can be helpful, I think it is not enough and preventive measures should be taken more comprehensively involving government support. It has to fund scientific research into eco-friendly products and inventions.  For example, Europe is already noticing the beneficial effects on the environment after the invention of electric cars. Although these vehicles are more expensive than petrol cars, people are buying them to protect our environment, especially air, from pollution. To conclude, I believe that an international car-free day can be helpful for our planet and help people aware of the need to protect it. Even so, in my opinion, a better option is to invest in eco-friendly cars that do not consume petrol.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that a day without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
across the world is a helpful way to increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
quality, others are of the opinion that we should adopt other ways to preserve our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution. In this essay, I will delve into both views and provide my support for the latter view.

It is evident that actions which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the consumption of fossil fuels is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. Nowadays,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
back to nature and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
caring about our planet more. I believe that actions like “a day-off from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars”
will bring results,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have already achieved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes with a similar initiative called “Earth Hour” during which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
turn off electric lights for an hour in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their commitment to protect Mother Earth.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are getting more and more informed about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution on their health and the health of future generations.

Despite knowing that this initiative /
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
can be helpful, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and preventive measures should
be taken
more
comprehensively
involving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
support. It
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
fund scientific research into eco-friendly products and inventions.  
For example
, Europe is already noticing the beneficial effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
after the invention of electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. Although these vehicles are more expensive than petrol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are buying them to protect our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
, from pollution.

To conclude
, I believe that an international car-free day can be helpful for our planet and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aware of the need to protect it. Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, in my opinion, a better option is to invest in eco-friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
that do not consume petrol.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Some people think that international car-free day will help in reducing fuel usage and air pollutions. Others believe there is an effective alternative to this. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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