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Some people think that individual sports are beneficial while others think that sports played in team are more of an importance.

Some people think that individual sports are beneficial while others think that sports played in team are more of an importance. g5WGD
People have different perspectives on whether individual sports or sports played in a team are more vital. In my opinion, sports that are played with a team helps people to acquire some must-have skills. On the one hand, there are several factors why groups of people believe that individual sports are more essential. The first reason is that hours of individual sports are flexible. The principal reason is that, you are free in an independent decision making process. . In other words, you are not dependent on other team players and exercise whenever it suits you best. Moreover, in personal sports you are not supposed to care about anyone. you don’t get distracted by the failure of other group members. For instance, you are swimming and events happening in the pool are not your business. On the other hand, I believe it is imperative to be involved in team sports. First of all, due to cooperation with other team-members you are building communication skills which is one of the main demands of today’s society. For example, in football you ought to pass the ball to other team members in order to succeed in the game. In other words, collaboration is a must in team sports and it will make you gain that trait. Furthermore, team sports build the sense of empathy in you that makes you care about others. Because you are surrounded by a large circle of team members you are supposed to concern and worry about them. For instance, if you are a basketball player and one of your team members got injured you ought to help and take care of him unconditionally. In conclusion, many people believe that individual sports are essential rather than team sports, I think that team sports help you to gain the ability to take care of others and it is very vital in today’s society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspectives on whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
or
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sports
played in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
are more vital. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
that are
Use "for" with "play." You probably meant this: "played for".
played with
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to acquire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
-have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

On the one hand, there are several factors why groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are more essential. The
first
reason is that hours of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are flexible. The principal reason is that, you are free in an independent
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
process.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, you are not dependent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
players and exercise whenever it suits you best.
Moreover
, in personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
you are not supposed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
about anyone.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
you
don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
distracted by the failure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
.
For instance
, you are swimming and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
happening in the pool are not your business.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, I believe it is imperative to
be involved
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, due to cooperation with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
team-members you are building communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which is one of the main demands of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s society.
For example
, in football you ought to pass the ball to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
in order to succeed in the game. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, collaboration is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you gain that trait.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
build the sense of empathy in you that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
about others.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
you
are surrounded
by a large circle of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
you
are supposed
to concern and worry about them.
For instance
, if you are a basketball player and one of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
injured you ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of him
unconditionally
.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are essential
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you to gain the ability to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of others and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vital in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s society.
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IELTS essay Some people think that individual sports are beneficial while others think that sports played in team are more of an importance.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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