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Some people think that in this modern world people are getting dependent on each other, while others think the modern world makes people more independent of each other

Some people think that in this modern world people are getting dependent on each other, while others think the modern world makes people more independent of each other Wd5b
According to a number of people the modern world is making people rely on each other more whilst some believe that the present times are making everyone make more independent. On the other hand, I can argue that individuals arw becoming more and more independent as time goes by. To begin with, humans in this day and age have the been or at least are trying to take care of themselves. Most teenagers work part time or have a summer job rather than ask their parents for allowance. Also, quite a few college students work to support themselves. Due to the impact of the modern world women today have the freedom to work and be independent in every way possible. After all, increase in the number of single parents and divorcees prove that individuals do not need to lean on others. Moreover, people are taking full advantage of the technology. Technology plays a crucial part in our lives. Hence, this advancement makes it possible for us to be self reliant. On the contrary, we humans keep getting lazier by the minute. I have seen people commanding siri to open an application on their phones. Back in the days people use to make their own bread, butter, etc from the scratch and now humans do it make use of their leisure time. Recently, I have seen an advertisement of a Samsung oven washer you can link your phone to the oven and it has an AI as well. Unlike the modern times, women were not allowed to work them. Therefore, divorce rates and number of single parents were much less compared to these days. In summation, we have it much easier nowadays. Technology is the reason why we are self sufficient and inactive at the same time.
According to a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the modern world is making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rely on each other more whilst
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that the present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
are making everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "makes", "made".
make
more independent.
On the other hand
, I can argue that individuals
Possible spelling mistake found.
arw
becoming more and more independent as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
goes by.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, humans in this day and age have the been or at least are trying to take care of themselves. Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
or have a summer job
rather
than ask their parents for allowance.
Also
, quite a few college students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to support themselves. Due to the impact of the modern world women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
have the freedom to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and be independent in every way possible.
After all
, increase in the number of single parents and divorcees prove that individuals do not need to lean on others.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are taking full advantage of the technology. Technology plays a crucial part in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Hence
, this advancement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
it possible for us to be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self reliant
.

On the contrary
, we humans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
getting lazier by the minute. I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
commanding
Possible spelling mistake found.
siri
to open an application on their phones. Back in the days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
bread, butter, etc from the scratch and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
humans do it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Recently, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
an
The usual collocation for "advertisement" is "for" not "of". Did you mean "advertisement for"?
advertisement of
a Samsung oven washer you can link your phone to the oven and it has an AI
as well
. Unlike the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, women were not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
them.
Therefore
, divorce rates and number of single parents were much less compared to these days.

In summation, we have it much easier nowadays. Technology is the reason why we are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self sufficient
and inactive at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that in this modern world people are getting dependent on each other, while others think the modern world makes people more independent of each other

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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