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In some countries celebrities complain about the way media publicize their private lives. Some people say that they should accept it as part of their fame. Do you agree or disagree.

In some countries celebrities complain about the way media publicize their private lives. Some people say that they should accept it as part of their fame. XrEw
In certain parts of worlds, there are some celebrities who often complains about how media use their private lives as a media content. Some people argues that because of their fame celebrities should accept it. But I completely disagree with this opinion and think that celebrities have their own personal life as any other human and we have to respect their own privacy. First of all, due to high popularity and fame, some of the fans are become curios about getting news of their favorite celebrities. Because of this, some news channels take an advantage of the situation and monitor each and every movement of the celebrities as well as make a coverage regarding their daily life. For instance, when any celebrity go out for a lunch or meet somebody from their fields, news reporters generally make an assumption and misinform their viewers which many harm celebrity's image among their loving followers. Thus, it's more important to understand celebrity's concern about their personal life. Moreover, sometimes media take any small issue to very high pace for their popularity. They take an advantage of any public figure, who is facing issues in their personal life, for channel's personal interest. For example, recently in India Bollywood star Sushant Singh Rajput had committed suicide which was a news but due to public interest for this topic, news channels made it breaking news as well as they also criticized his ex-girlfriend and eventually this incident ruined her career. That's why media should respect their privacy as well as they should understand that they have their own life after their work. To conclude, I strongly believe that celebrities have their own life after their profession. They have all the rights like us to enjoy their own personal space.
In certain parts of worlds, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
complains about how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
content.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
argues
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their fame
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
should accept it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I completely disagree with this opinion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as any other
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
human and
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
respect their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
privacy.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, due to high popularity and fame,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
fans
are become
curios about getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
of their favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
.
Because of this
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
channels take an advantage of the situation and monitor each and every movement of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a coverage regarding their daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
, when any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
go out
When we speak of types of meals, the article is not required: "for lunch".
for a lunch
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
somebody from their fields,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
reporters
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an assumption and misinform their viewers which
Possible agreement error. The noun harm seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much harm", "a good deal of harm".
many harm
celebrity's image among their loving followers.
Thus
, it's more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to understand celebrity's concern about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
life.

Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
take any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
issue to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high pace for their popularity. They take an advantage of any public figure, who is facing issues in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, for channel's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
interest.
For example
, recently in India Bollywood star
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sushant
Singh
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rajput
had committed suicide which was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due to public interest for this topic,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
channels made it breaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
as well
as they
also
criticized his ex-girlfriend and
eventually
this incident ruined her career. That's why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should respect their privacy
as well
as they should understand that they have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
after their work.

To conclude
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
after their profession. They have all the rights like us to enjoy their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
space.
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IELTS essay In some countries celebrities complain about the way media publicize their private lives. Some people say that they should accept it as part of their fame.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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