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SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT IN THIS MODERN WORLD , GETTING OLD IS ENTIRELY BAD . HOWEVER , OTHER PEOPLE IS MUCH BETTER NOW THAN IT WAS IN THE PAST . DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AMD GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION .

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT IN THIS MODERN WORLD, GETTING OLD IS ENTIRELY BAD. HOWEVER, OTHER PEOPLE IS MUCH BETTER NOW THAN IT WAS IN THE PAST. q680w
Family is the most precious thing for everyone and grandparents are also a great persons in a family. However, old age is a last stage of human's life. In this modern world, majority of people think that getting old is worst. Apart from this, rest of the masses consider good rather than past. According to my perception, the life of old persons in present has much better. First of all, getting old is not bad, it is bad for those individuals who do not respect their adult parents. Due to technology, youngsters spend most of their time outside and grandparents live isolate. Due to lack of support by family they get in depression. In India, majority of people covet live alone, and they disrespect their parents. On the flip side, the life of adult people is good than the previous years. In joint families it has been seen that the greyparents are key person of children life; with whom they can comfortably share their feelings without any hesitation. In modern era, old age humans do not depend on others because they know all about the advanced facilities. They can run their business alone without any difficulty. Also, they take medication by using frequent vehicles. However, in family they are well about their children's likes and dislikes because they have great experience of their life. In overseas countries such as Canada, America, Australia, USA, UK government provide good facilities to adult people like free medical test, clothing, caring and many more. So, I conclude that live with family and grandparents have good rather than alone because they are roots of the family and children are branches of the family. If roots are in good condition then branches are also good and live happy whole life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
is the most precious thing for everyone and grandparents are
also
a great
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "person"?
persons
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age is a last stage of human's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In this modern world,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
is worst. Apart from this, rest of the masses consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
rather
than past. According to my perception, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
persons in present has much better.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for those individuals who do not respect their adult parents. Due to technology, youngsters spend most of their time outside and grandparents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
isolate. Due to lack of support by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in depression. In India,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
covet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
alone, and they disrespect their parents.

On the flip side, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is
Use "better" to make a comparison with this adjective.
good
than the previous years. In joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
it has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
greyparents
are key person of children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
; with whom they can
comfortably
share their feelings without any hesitation. In modern era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age humans do not depend on others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they know all about the advanced facilities. They can run their business alone without any difficulty.
Also
, they take medication by using frequent vehicles.
However
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
they are well about their children's likes and dislikes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have great experience of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In overseas countries such as Canada, America, Australia, USA, UK
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
facilities to adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like free medical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
, clothing, caring and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I conclude that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and grandparents have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
rather
than alone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are roots of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and children are branches of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. If roots are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
condition then branches are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
happy whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT IN THIS MODERN WORLD, GETTING OLD IS ENTIRELY BAD. HOWEVER, OTHER PEOPLE IS MUCH BETTER NOW THAN IT WAS IN THE PAST.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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