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Access to culture museums

Access to culture museums MlEE9
Access to culture is something that has been largely discussed nowadays. From my standpoint, there are some benefits and drawbacks of charging people to enter museums. First and foremost, many people can not pay for the tickets to visit a museum, principally students and children from poor families and this is a dramatic drawback in this situation. All people need to have access to culture. Secondly, all over the years if governments do not incentive people to visit museums this habit will be forgotten by the young generations. To conclude, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages of charging.
Access to culture is something that has been
largely
discussed nowadays. From my standpoint, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits and drawbacks of charging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to enter museums.
First
and foremost,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not pay for the tickets to visit a museum,
principally
students and children from poor families and this is a dramatic drawback in this situation. All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to have access to culture.
Secondly
, all over the years if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
do not incentive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to visit museums this habit will
be forgotten
by the young generations.
To conclude
, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages of charging.

IELTS essay Access to culture museums

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
97 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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