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Countryside and urbanization

Countryside and urbanization yROgV
Some people prefer to growing up their children in the cities while others believe that raising them in the countryside is better than in the cities. From my perspective I particularly agree with them. This essay will outline the reasons for my point of view. Most people agree that it is very important for a child to grow up in a healthy environment. Firstly, in the countryside kids have more freedom to do physical activities; for example, play football or running in a wide area. Secondly, children need frish air. So, we can find a natural area with no pollution more in the countryside side than in the cities, such as various species of plants which they produce original oxygen to the air and acquire carbon dioxide from air; in addition, more chemical factories exist in the cities they produce more pollution to the earth. Finally, technology has been scalabled and developed in the countryside as well as cities to cover all aspect of our life and deliver more services to different parts of the country. For instance, modern transportation systems such as a subway or tram are available in countryside which make transfer between cities and all the countryside more easily and available any time to get all benefits of city. On the other hand, children need to be social active; therefore, I agree that cities can offer a range entertainment like virtual zoon in malls. Also, in cities there are more opportunities to find job and build their future because of all development universities and companies available in cities more than the countryside; Additionally, dependency life in cities is more convenient; as a result, parents find more time to spend it with their children in spite of to spend time with their relatives neighbors in the countryside because in the countryside there is more complicated big family relationship. In conclusion, no matter where kids are grow up because children need a various environment to grow up, parents can live in the cities or countryside and transfer between cities and the countryside to get advantages of both environment to develop their children life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to
Did you mean "grow"?
growing
up their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
while others believe that raising them in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
is better than in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. From my perspective I
particularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with them. This essay will outline the reasons for my point of view.

Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a child to grow up in a healthy environment.
Firstly
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
kids have more freedom to do physical activities;
for example
, play football or running in a wide area.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need
Possible spelling mistake found.
frish
air.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we can find a natural area with no pollution more in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
side than in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, such as various species of plants which they produce original oxygen to the air and acquire carbon dioxide from air;
in addition
, more chemical factories exist in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
they produce more pollution to the earth.

Finally
, technology has been
Possible spelling mistake found.
scalabled
and developed in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to cover all aspect of our life and deliver more services to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the country.
For instance
, modern transportation systems such as a subway or tram are available in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
transfer between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
more
easily
and available any time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
all benefits of city.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need to be social active;
therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
can offer a range entertainment like virtual
Possible spelling mistake found.
zoon
in malls.
Also
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
there are more opportunities to find job and build their future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of all development universities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
available in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
more than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
;
Additionally
, dependency life in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is more convenient;
as a result
, parents find more time to spend it with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
to spend time with their relatives neighbors in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
there is more complicated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
family relationship.

In conclusion
, no matter where kids are
Consider using a past participle here: "grown".
grow
up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need a various environment to grow up, parents can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
and transfer between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
advantages of both environment to develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
life.
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IELTS essay Countryside and urbanization

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
354 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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