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Some people think that in order to solve traffic and transportation problems, people should be encouraged to live in the suburbs or in the countryside rather than in the cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people think that in order to solve traffic and transportation problems, people should be encouraged to live in the suburbs or in the countryside rather than in the cities. v. 2
In todays world, One of the major issues faced by the entire world is about traffic, pollution and transportation. With the increase in the number of vehicles and more of human staying in the main area of their locality. The usage of the driving tools is increasing drastically. So few people believe, if some percentage of the human shift to another part of the locality, like outer side of the state. It would be helpful in minimizing the issue. I shall be discussing on the same in the following paragraph. To begin with, The major reason of increasing the above mentioned issue is, Mankind takes things for granted and they fail to understand the problems which can be arises because of their actions. For instance, When human starts to crowd a locality with the thought of having quick access to services. Like Hospitals, College, Office, Malls and Markets. However they forget that there is a limited space available in the major parts of the state and due to over the human population road becomes narrower and the human having quick accessibility to services they use their own vehicle rather than public modes and eventually it leads to increase in traffic and transportation issue. On the other hand, If mankind starts to live in town or on the outer side of the locality, They will be using more of general travelling modes as using own mode of travel will be expensive. And they will be enjoying the beautiful mother nature. To conclude, I strongly suggest to the human to start living in the outskirts which will help them and the environment together.
In
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
world, One of the major issues faced by the entire world is about traffic, pollution and transportation. With the increase in the number of vehicles and more of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
staying in the main area of their locality. The usage of the driving tools is increasing
drastically
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
percentage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
shift to another part of the locality, like outer side of the state. It would be helpful in minimizing the issue. I shall be discussing on the same in the following paragraph.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, The major reason of increasing the above mentioned issue is, Mankind takes things for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
granted and
they fail to understand the problems which can be
Consider using the past participle "arisen"?
arises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their actions.
For instance
, When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to crowd a locality with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of having quick access to services. Like Hospitals, College, Office, Malls and Markets.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
they forget that there is a limited space available in the major parts of the state and due to over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
population road becomes narrower and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
having quick accessibility to services they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vehicle
rather
than public modes and
eventually
it leads to increase in traffic and transportation issue.

On the other hand
, If mankind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in town or on the outer side of the locality, They will be using more of general travelling modes as using
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
mode of travel will be expensive. And they will be enjoying the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
mother nature.

To conclude
, I
strongly
suggest to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
living in the outskirts which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them and the environment together.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Some people think that in order to solve traffic and transportation problems, people should be encouraged to live in the suburbs or in the countryside rather than in the cities. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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