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Some people think that imprisonment is the best way to deal with criminals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that imprisonment is the best way to deal with criminals. oElQw
It is often believed that the best way to punish offenders is a prison sentence. Although I understand that imprisonment can have certain positive effects on criminals, I would argue that this is definitely not the optimal approach to deal with them. On the one hand, I think it is reasonable that a prison sentence is an effective way of treating criminals. Firstly, it is true that imprisoning the offenders can mean removing a threat from the society. Incarcerating these law breakers may prevent them from committing further crimes, and it also can make them lose the competence to be involved in any crimes by the time they are released; which means prisons effectively stop their unlawful activities. According to data collected by the Vietnam Ministry of Public Security, over half 70% of ex-convicts never committed crime again within 5 years after being released. Secondly, another argument in favor of this is that the criminals’ custodial sentences may satisfy the society’s and the victim’s desire for retribution. The fact that the criminals have to forfeit their freedom is certainly a way to ease the victim’s anger and wish for revenge; otherwise, they might seek revenge by illegal means. On the other hand, I would say that there are similarly practical alternatives to imprisonment. First, the government can invest in an educational program to correct the convicts’ anti-social thinking and behaviours. This program can persuade the wrongdoers crime committers to give up their wrong intentions at will, thus more effective than any deprivation of freedom. A group of social scientists from the US has been developing and testing such a program and reported a positive result of over 80% chance of success. In addition, a financial punishment might prove more effective than prison sentences for white-collar crimes. Many of these crimes are motivated by the pursuit of status and wealthmoney, thus the loss of such privilege and possessionsthings may be an implicit discouragement for potential criminals in this field. area. In conclusion, while I accept that custodial sentences produce fruitful results in preventing crimes, I believe that this is not the best option. Though it can save the society from a threat and compensate for victims, I think special educational programs and financial penalties can also be just as helpful.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed that the best way to punish offenders is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentence
. Although I understand that imprisonment can have certain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
, I would argue that this is definitely not the optimal approach to deal with them.

On the one hand, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is reasonable that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentence
is an effective way of treating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
.
Firstly
, it is true that imprisoning the offenders can mean removing a threat from the society. Incarcerating these law breakers may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from committing
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, and it
also
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them lose the competence to
be involved
in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
by the time they
are released
; which means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
effectively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
their unlawful activities. According to data collected by the Vietnam Ministry of Public Security, over half 70% of ex-convicts never committed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
again within 5 years after
being released
.
Secondly
, another argument in favor of this is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals’
custodial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentences
may satisfy the society’s and the victim’s desire for retribution. The fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
forfeit their freedom is
certainly
a way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the victim’s anger and wish for revenge;
otherwise
, they might seek revenge by illegal means.

On the other hand
, I would say that there are
similarly
practical alternatives to imprisonment.
First
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can invest in an educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
to correct the convicts’ anti-social thinking and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
can persuade the wrongdoers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
committers to give up their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
intentions at will,
thus
more effective than any deprivation of freedom. A group of social scientists from the US has been developing and testing such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
and reported a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
result of over 80% chance of success.
In addition
, a financial punishment might prove more effective than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentences
for white-collar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are motivated
by the pursuit of status and
Possible spelling mistake found.
wealthmoney
,
thus
the loss of such privilege and
Possible spelling mistake found.
possessionsthings
may be an implicit discouragement for potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
in this field.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
area
.

In conclusion
, while I accept that custodial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentences
produce fruitful results in preventing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, I believe that this is not the best option. Though it can save the society from a threat and compensate for victims, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
special educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
and financial penalties can
also
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as helpful.
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IELTS essay Some people think that imprisonment is the best way to deal with criminals.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
379 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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