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A popular hobby rather than a regular passtime

A popular hobby rather than a regular passtime d5j1X
Nowadays people like to change their day by day activities according to the latest trends and also they are following popular things what their surrounding peoples make them popular in their area. This essay will explain the reason why the people are spending more time for popular hobbies rather than their individual activities. Hobbies and interest are different for everyone; this is the human nature, which is given by god. The current generations peoples are very much interest in the latest trend which makes them happy and also help them to make more money. For example, cricket is the most famous game in many of the country, children and teen ages are starts playing it whenever they have free time in their daily life. This makes them will become a star in this game when they reach a certain age in their life. In addition, this popularity will help them to make lots of money in their life. Beside this, there are many hobby changes the peoples entire life into different way. Those are from poor family aiming to spend more time to make money rather than on their own interests. However, some of them are not worry about the popular hobbies and interests. For instance, drinking alcohol is one of the popular hobbies between low income and high level budget peoples interest. In conclusion, _spending more time for popular hobbies and interests really depends on their surrounding people's activity and environments. It may be a helpful for them to become a star in their life or spending time with many friends.
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their day by day activities according to the latest trends and
also
they are following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
things what their surrounding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
in their area. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the reason why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are spending more time

for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
rather
than their individual activities.

Hobbies and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
for everyone; this is the human nature, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by god. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in the latest trend which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them happy and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
more money.
For example
, cricket is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
game in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the country, children and teen ages are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
playing it whenever they have free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in their daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them will become a star in this game when they reach a certain age in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
In addition
, this popularity will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
lots of money in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Beside this, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
way.

Those are from poor family aiming to spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
money
rather
than on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them are not worry about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
.
For instance
, drinking alcohol is one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
between low income and high level budget
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
interest.

In conclusion
, _spending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
really
depends on their surrounding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's activity and environments. It may be a helpful for them to become a star in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
or spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
friends.
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IELTS essay A popular hobby rather than a regular passtime

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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