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Some people think that if everyone received a small amount of financial support from the government, nobody would want to work anymore. To what extent do you agree?

Some people think that if everyone received a small amount of financial support from the government, nobody would want to work anymore. m2Djd
Nowadays, the Government is being more financially supportive to different range of age groups than ever before. Therefor, it made many people believe that if this continues to happen, all residents would not work and prefer to stay home. I certainly disagree with them. Although this is an extremely beneficial plan to be made for those who need the financial assistant, such as people with special needs, paternal leaves, geriatrics, and young children. Expect those, many other people are readily able to work. Therefore, encouragement for work should be essential step that the government can make to develop a better lifestyle for its residents in terms of socializing with other employees and eliminating the boredom. For this plan to be achieved, there should be discouragement of sedentary lifestyle by customizing pencisions for those who are in needs for it. On an individual basis, getting up early and going out routinely for work reduces the level of stress and other long term conditions such as depression and obesity compared with those who do not. As well as,
Nowadays, the
Government
is being more
financially
supportive to
different
range of age groups than ever
before
. Therefor, it made
many
people
believe that if this continues to happen, all residents would not
work
and prefer to stay home. I
certainly
disagree with them.

Although this is an
extremely
beneficial plan to
be made
for those who need the financial assistant, such as
people
with special needs, paternal
leaves
, geriatrics, and young children.
Expect
those,
many
other
people
are
readily
able to
work
.
Therefore
, encouragement for
work
should be essential step that the
government
can
make
to develop a better lifestyle for its residents in terms of socializing with other employees and eliminating the boredom. For this plan to
be achieved
, there should be discouragement of sedentary lifestyle by customizing
pencisions
for those who are in needs for it.

On an individual basis, getting up early and going out
routinely
for
work
reduces
the level of
stress
and other long term conditions such as depression and obesity compared with those who do not.
As well
as,
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IELTS essay Some people think that if everyone received a small amount of financial support from the government, nobody would want to work anymore.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
176 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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