Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Increasing the pressure on the school and undergraduates when they are young, students are pushed to hard work. And, I think it has a positives as well as its negatives

Increasing the pressure on the school and undergraduates when they are young, students are pushed to hard work. And, I think it has a positives as well as its negatives gD1J1
Increasing the pressure on the school and undergraduates when they are young, students are pushed to hard work. And, I think it has a positives as well as its negatives. Pressure on the school and university students are increasing due to many reasons. Firstly, the competitive at the high level. They need to get a good score to get into a good college. That's why, they do work hard and take a burden of the study. Apart from this, parents are pushed to get a good score into the study. Secondly, the higher education is costly. Due to this, students need to do a part time job to collect the fees of school and universities. When the students are young, they pushed to hard work. There are couple of positives. First of all, they quickly learn to work hard in early years and develop a sound career. Therefore, they are better placed in life later on. Second, they do not take part in any violence, crime and drugs because they do not have a time for such activities. There are also negatives such as they leads to stress and strain sometimes. Students cannot strike a balance between work and leisure time which may result in boredom. After that, when students face failure or cannot cooperate with the pressure, thus they can have suicidal tendencies. Due to stress, they forced to choose a course against their wish. In conclusion, although the positive of pushed to work hard and they learn quickly to work hard and cannot take part any crime, due to this they effect on the health.
Increasing the pressure on the school and undergraduates when they are young,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pushed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. And, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it has
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a positif", "a positive" or simply "positives"?
a positives
as well
as its negatives. Pressure on the school and university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons.
Firstly
, the competitive at the high level. They need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
score to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
college. That's why, they do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
and take a burden of the study. Apart from this, parents are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pushed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
score into the study.
Secondly
, the higher education is costly.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need to do a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
job to collect the fees of school and universities. When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are young, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pushed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. There are
It seems that an article is missing.
couple of
positives.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, they
quickly
learn to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
in early years and develop a sound career.
Therefore
, they are better placed in life later on. Second, they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in any violence, crime and drugs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have a time for such activities. There are
also
negatives such as they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "lead"
leads
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and strain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
cannot strike a balance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and leisure time which may result in boredom. After that, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
face failure or cannot cooperate with the pressure,
thus
they can have suicidal tendencies.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, they forced to choose a course against their wish.
In conclusion
, although the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pushed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
hard and
they learn
quickly
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
and cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
any crime,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to this they effect on the health.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Increasing the pressure on the school and undergraduates when they are young, students are pushed to hard work. And, I think it has a positives as well as its negatives

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
267 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own money
    Compared to the society we had several decades ago, the way of thinking has undergone noticeable changes. While the years ago the most significant aim of women was considered a successful marriage, nowadays they are taught to reach success in different spheres by themselves. And it dramatically chan...
  • 6band
    Some people think that children who spend a lot of time reading children’s story books are wasting their time.
    Reading books has never brought harm to any of us. And it is the thing that children might get used to from very young age. Their interest to reading starts with small books where some fantastic events are described in order to make a child pay attention to it. However, there are plenty of other act...
  • 6band
    some say advertisements are good, some say they are not.
    The advantages and disadvantages of advertisements are widely debated. This essay will argue that the merits of advertisements outweigh the demerits. This essay will demonstrate that advertisements are a good way to convey a positive message to the community followed by an analysis of how some disre...
  • 5.5band
    Tell us about your concern around you
    The thing that made me think a lot is 'Misunderstanding' when I found out what to write for this assignment. The grader must be wonder on this thesis and can be considering that 'Misunderstanding' is not a big deal to think about. From my side of views, people misunderstanding have being caused our ...
  • 6band
    Weekends in Malaysia should be extended from only two days to three days.
    Weekends are something that everyone really looks forward. After having a hectic week, weekends will be the right time for a rest. What if Malaysia has three days of the weekend instead of two days only? Generally, I totally agree that weekends in Malaysia should be extended from only two days to th...
  • 6band
    Females make better leaders than males.
    Leadership is very important in our life. Gender-appropriate occupations are very common in our society since a long time ago and it makes leadership monopolized by men. Meanwhile, nowadays women are more daring to enter this field. When we talk about leadership, people commonly wonder who makes bet...