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In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married.Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own money

In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own money dqn2K
Compared to the society we had several decades ago, the way of thinking has undergone noticeable changes. While the years ago the most significant aim of women was considered a successful marriage, nowadays they are taught to reach success in different spheres by themselves. And it dramatically changed some aspects of their lives. First of all, very often, we face the overall situation where a woman is reluctant to get married due to her abilities and chances to succeed. When very young, they were told that a good marriage could bring financial security if the head of the family has a well-paid job with good prospects. Today women can be involved in such areas of work that were forbidden for them for years. Such a phenomenon leads to the gradual increase in the vital role of woman employees in the sphere of governance, economy, and even science. Their contribution to the lately mentioned jobs is going to increase. At the same time, salaries are higher and higher, which gives women the opportunity not to be financially dependent on their partners, parents, or someone else. However, considering marriage as a mere source of income and nothing else is a great misunderstanding. The essential function of such a union is creating a tight connection between wife and husband, which will benefit you in almost every aspect of your life. To summarize, it's prevalent that women do not desire to get married as they did in the past. The reason for it is that they can earn enough money to meet their demands. But the advantages of marriage don't limit to capital. So, it's their choice whether they need a strong partner beside them or not.
Compared to the society we had several decades ago, the way of thinking has undergone noticeable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. While the years ago the most significant aim of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
was considered
a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
, nowadays they
are taught
to reach success in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
spheres by themselves. And it
dramatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aspects of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
, we face the
overall
situation where a woman is reluctant to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married due to her abilities and chances to succeed. When
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young, they were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
that a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
could bring financial security if the head of the family has a well-paid job with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
prospects.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can
be involved
in such areas of work that
were forbidden
for them for years. Such a phenomenon leads to the gradual increase in the vital role of woman employees in the sphere of governance, economy, and even science.

Their contribution to the lately mentioned jobs is going to increase. At the same time, salaries are higher and higher, which gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
the opportunity not to be
financially
dependent on their partners, parents, or someone else.
However
, considering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
as a mere source of income and nothing else is a great misunderstanding. The essential function of such a union is creating a tight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
wife and husband, which will benefit you in almost every aspect of your life.

To summarize
, it's prevalent that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
do not desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married as they did in the past. The reason for it is that they can earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their demands.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
don't limit to capital.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it's their choice whether they need a strong partner beside them or not.
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IELTS essay In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own money

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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