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some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for a country while something it is better discuss both views

some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for a country while something it is better discuss both views ygaGE
In contemporary era, all country gives focus on the sports and young generation also possess a lot of interest on it therefore, some folk assume that organise international sports function is reasonable for States however, other think that it is not necessary. I partially disagree with this statement and reason for my inclination are glance through in ensuring paragraphs. First and foremost, when government host sports event on international level then the relation between two Nations becomes strong moreover, in future they also do some business activities, so it creates a long-term benefits. Nowadays the Olympic game is extremely popular on worldwide due to that plenty of people get work because, there have a so many activities and it also held on very big platform, so it's need huge staff for management and in addition, the famous celebrities also gives big amount to winner hence, player lives healthy and safe life. If countries hosting that type of event then, small children also take part on it moreover, the young generation give their best and becomes their nation famous in all around The World for instance, the cricket is favourite game of every Indian and Sachin Tendulkar is known as god of that game, so in this way states also feel proud on brilliant champions. On the other hand, if player join the international sport function then they face tough competition due to that, it is not susceptible to win each and every game hence, they loss in event and it create a negative effect on their level of confidence. In some circumstances it is injurious to hosting big function and the covid-19 is biggest example of it because, in Olympic numerous people meet each and others hence, they spread that virus quickly. The international sport event also consumed income of country so when nation leader utilize that money on alternative things then it will give inordinate result. To sum up, I want to say that, it is very beneficial for every nation to take part on sport because, the young generation also get inspiration from that.
In contemporary era, all country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
focus on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and young generation
also
possess
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
interest on it
therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
folk assume that
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
function is reasonable for States
however
, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is not necessary. I
partially
disagree with this statement and reason for my inclination are glance through in ensuring paragraphs.
First
and foremost, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
level then the relation between two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
becomes strong
moreover
, in future they
also
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
business activities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it creates a long-term
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "benefit"?
benefits
. Nowadays the Olympic game is
extremely
popular on worldwide due to that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, there have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
activities and it
also
held on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
platform,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it's need huge staff for management and
in addition
, the
Consider using "celebrities".
famous celebrities
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
amount to winner
hence
, player
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
healthy and safe life. If countries hosting that type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
then,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
children
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
on it
moreover
, the young generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
their best and becomes their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
in all around The World
for instance
, the cricket is
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
game of every Indian and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sachin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tendulkar
is known
as god of that game,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in this way states
also
feel proud on brilliant champions.
On the other hand
, if player
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
function then they face tough competition due to that, it is not susceptible to win each and every game
hence
, they
Did you mean "lost" (past tense of the verb 'lose')?
loss
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
and it
Did you mean "creates"?
create
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on their level of confidence. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
circumstances it is injurious to
Did you mean "host"?
hosting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
function and the
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid-19
is
A determiner is probably missing here: "the biggest".
biggest
example of it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, in Olympic numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
each
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
hence
, they spread that virus
quickly
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
also
consumed income of country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
leader utilize that money on alternative things then it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
inordinate result. To sum up, I want to say that, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, the young generation
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
inspiration from that.
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IELTS essay some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for a country while something it is better discuss both views

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
346 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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