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Some people think that having a set retirement age 65 year for every body, regardless of occupation is unfair . They believe that certain workers deserve to retire recieve a pension at an eariler age . Do you agree or disagree. Which types of workers do you think shoudl benefit from retirement.

Some people think that having a set retirement age 65 year for every body, regardless of occupation is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire recieve a pension at an eariler age. Which types of workers do you think shoudl benefit from retirement. 21qJ
Some individuals deem that 65 year retirement age can be imparied for everyone, it is unreealistic for some people. They opine that multifarious workers ought to be recieved pension in young age. I agree with this given statement and I intend to put forth my personal stand viewpoint in upcoming paragraphs. To embark on, there are several reasons behind this phenomenon. The first is foremost is that, this age should be different for every person according to their nature of job because age dose not matter for plenty occupations. But, experience also play vital role in work. As a result, older masses have ample amout of knowledge regarding their work. To exemplifie it, in some profession like tutors and doctors who have old knowledge about teaching and treatment. It is beneficial for these sectors. Beside this, in such fields, conventional knowledge are big advantage and they can also share the job experience with other new jobdeors untill they would not want to quit the work. Hence, they can easily use this method in that fields. In my perception, no doubt reteriment are not suitable for teacher and doctors, but also it should be essential for bank, police, soldiers, sports. In such places, they need to more physical and mental ability. Therefore, they should be take pension in tender age. For instance, in the boundaries area where they require healthy and fit person for our security nations. If they have congitive skills, they would easily prevent form other nation enimes. Secondly, a plothero of sports worker sough be left their job with pension in particular time beacuse they would not have energy to do job. Consequently, government should be give pension in such fields. In conclusion, I would like to infer that in those field where need to some professional person for long time. So they should be provide pension who do not have more skills and abilities in 65 years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals deem that 65 year retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
can be
Possible spelling mistake found.
imparied
for everyone, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
unreealistic
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. They opine that multifarious workers ought to be
Possible spelling mistake found.
recieved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pension
in young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement and I intend to put forth my personal stand viewpoint in upcoming paragraphs. To embark on, there are several reasons behind this phenomenon. The
first
is foremost is that, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
for every person according to their nature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
dose not matter for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
occupations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, experience
also
play vital role in work.
As a result
, older masses have ample
Possible spelling mistake found.
amout
of knowledge regarding their work. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
exemplifie
it, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "professions"?
profession
like tutors and doctors who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
knowledge about teaching and treatment. It is beneficial for these sectors. Beside this, in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
, conventional knowledge are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
advantage and
they can
also
share the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
experience with other new
Possible spelling mistake found.
jobdeors
Possible spelling mistake found.
untill
they would not want to quit the work.
Hence
, they can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this method in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
. In my perception, no doubt
Possible spelling mistake found.
reteriment
are not suitable for teacher and doctors,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it should be essential for bank, police, soldiers, sports. In such places, they need to more physical and mental ability.
Therefore
, they should be take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pension
in tender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
For instance
, in the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "boundaries'" or "boundary's"?
boundaries
area where they require healthy and fit person for our security nations. If they have
Possible spelling mistake found.
congitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, they would
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
form other nation
Possible spelling mistake found.
enimes
.
Secondly
, a
Possible spelling mistake found.
plothero
of sports worker sough be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pension
in particular
time
Possible spelling mistake found.
beacuse
they would not have energy to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should be give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pension
in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
.
In conclusion
, I would like to infer that in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
where need to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
professional person for long time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they should be
Consider using the past participle "provided"?
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pension
who do not have more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and abilities in 65 years.

IELTS essay Some people think that having a set retirement age 65 year for every body, regardless of occupation is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire recieve a pension at an eariler age. Which types of workers do you think shoudl benefit from retirement.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
320 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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  • Some people think that having a set retirement age 65 year for every body, regardless of occupation is unfair . They believe that certain workers deserve to retire recieve a pension at an eariler age . Do you agree or disagree. Which types of workers do you think shoudl benefit from retirement.