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In some areas of US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

In some areas of US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this? WLaq
Strict rules have been implemented by the government of many countries for the sake of people. To support this, curfews have been implemented to certain areas of the US during which youngsters will not go out without any adult. In my opinion, this will bring a positive impact on society which will be discussed in this essay. The main reason for this crucial step is for the betterment of those at a young age. Youngsters love to party at midnight, where they spend time out with friends because during the night the strictness on the bars and public areas are less as compare to day time. For instance, in the US, some bars serve free drink after 11pm which will directly impact the life of youngsters as they do not have enough money to spend. So these restrictions, will not only help teenagers but also their parents who keep on worried for their children about going out. The other reason is the increase in accident rates by low-level aged children. Students who passed schools and started with college are at the delicate age of 16 to 18 years. Furthermore, they can get a licence at this age and drive. Some naughty ones like to do racing with friends in cars at late time. The reason why they choose night is, due to less traffic and even some roads are open during late nights for heavyweight vehicles. Less experienced drivers used to drive the car with a higher speed which results in killing innocent peoples. Today, the highest number of car crash cases are found in the US and North America due to this situation. All in all, this cautions will serve as a safety for them and other people. To conclude, the curfews applied for the night out of kids will help the country and its new generation to live a better and safe life. The government should punish the culprits by tightening the rules and applying the fare to those who neglect it.
Strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
have
been implemented
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries for the sake of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. To support this, curfews have
been implemented
to certain areas of the US during which youngsters will not go out without any adult. In my opinion, this will bring a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on society which will
be discussed
in this essay.

The main reason for this crucial step is for the betterment of those at a young age. Youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to party at midnight, where they spend time out with friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
the strictness on the bars and public areas are less
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compare to day time.
For instance
, in the US,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
bars serve free drink after 11pm which will
directly
impact the life of youngsters as they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to spend.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
these restrictions, will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
their parents who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on worried for their children about going out.

The other reason is the increase in accident rates by low-level aged children. Students who passed schools and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with college are at the delicate age of 16 to 18 years.
Furthermore
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
Possible spelling mistake. 'licence' is British English.
licence
at this age and drive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
naughty ones like to
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go racing".
do racing
with friends in cars at late time. The reason why they choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
is, due to less traffic and even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
roads are open during late
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nights
for heavyweight vehicles. Less experienced drivers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to drive the car with a higher speed which results in killing innocent peoples.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, the highest number of car crash cases
are found
in the US and North America due to this situation. All in all, this cautions will serve as a safety for them and other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To conclude
, the curfews applied for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
out of kids will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the country and its new generation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a better and safe life. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should punish the culprits by tightening the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and applying the fare to those who neglect it.
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IELTS essay In some areas of US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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