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Some people think that governments should hold responsibility for not creating equal job opportunities for men and women, while others think that society is at fault. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience Write at least 250 words.

Some people think that governments should hold responsibility for not creating equal job opportunities for men and women, while others think that society is at fault. pLoOy
Undoubtedly, it is true that many people believe that women are not getting equal opportunities as compared to men in the job sector. It is a widely held belief that government is responsible for all this but there is a strong counter argument amongst sections of people that society is responsible. This is a matter to be debated in the light of several factors which would be discussed in the following paragraphs along with my opinion. To commence with, it is a generally known fact that behind the unequal job opportunities between men and women, authority is somewhat responsible. The first and foremost reason is, professions are differentiated on a gender basis in the corporate world, where they think that most government jobs are for men not for women. Apart from this, in this modern era, there are numerous women who are illiterate and even they get very less options to choose their career. For instance, a survey was done which results that only 20% of government jobs were available for women from which only 10% of them get hired. On the other hand, there are certain groups of people who vehemently contend that society is responsible. One of the reasons behind this is orthodox thinking of the world. Due to this, females rarely get any chance to achieve their goals. Besides this, male-dominated culture is still increasing. In recent research came to know that ratio of rape has been increased as compared to the past. Where people believe that women are not safe so they do not allow to do jobs, this is also one of the reasons why the public is responsible. To conclude, after analyzing both views, I assert that both government and society are at fault for not creating equal job opportunities, which is proved by the fact that government provides fewer jobs for women, while society creates a bad environment that undermines women's actions.
Undoubtedly
, it is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are not getting equal opportunities as compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
sector. It is a
widely
held belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for all this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is a strong counter argument amongst sections of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
. This is a matter to
be debated
in the light of several factors which would
be discussed
in the following paragraphs along with my opinion.

To commence with, it is a
generally
known fact that behind the unequal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, authority is somewhat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
. The
first
and foremost reason is, professions
are differentiated
on a gender basis in the corporate world, where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
not for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. Apart from this, in this modern era, there are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
who are illiterate and even they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun options is countable.
less
options to choose their career.
For instance
, a survey
was done
which results that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
20% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
were available for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
from which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hired.

On the other hand
, there are certain groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
vehemently
contend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
. One of the reasons behind this is orthodox thinking of the world. Due to this, females rarely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any chance to achieve their goals.
Besides
this, male-dominated culture is
still
increasing. In recent research came to know that ratio of rape has
been increased
as compared to the past. Where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are not safe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
Did you mean "doing"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'allow' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, this is
also
one of the reasons why the public is responsible.

To conclude
, after analyzing both views, I assert that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
are at fault for not creating equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities, which
is proved
by the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
provides fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
creates a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
environment that undermines women's actions.
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IELTS essay Some people think that governments should hold responsibility for not creating equal job opportunities for men and women, while others think that society is at fault.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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