Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. v.10

Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. v. 10
A group of people believe that governments should provide subsidies for unpopular or amateur artists, while other people think that artistic people should be subsidised from another resource. The following essay will discuss both opinions, but in my personal opinion, I believe that governments should fund them before they are sponsored by alternative sources. Several people believe that creative artist such as street painters and musicians should not be subsidised by the governments. They think that art activities are not the basic need of human beings, and governments should focus on more important matters. For example, rather than spending some budget for these street artists, the fund could be allocated for improving the public education sectors, public transportations or public facilities. They think that creative artist should seek sponsorship from private institutions or private companies. For several reasons, some people believe that creative artist should be funded by governments. Firstly, many amateur painters have painted some of the public areas, and they have changed the look and the atmosphere of these places from a negative aura into a positive one. Secondly, some talented artists have made artistic sculptures and placed them in public areas such as in the parks, and they have made the parks become more beautiful and attractive. Thirdly, many amateur musicians who are performing in public areas, such as in subways or in bus terminals have entertained the public with their music. Therefore, it is undeniable that the existence of these artists brings benefits for the society and governments should subsidise them. In conclusion, people have different opinions about funding creative artists. Some people think that they should be funded by governments, while others believe that they should be subsidised by other resources. In my point of view, I think governments should allocate some budget for amateur artists as they bring benefits for individuals and communities, but once they have become professional, they should seek sponsorship from other resources, and the government should stop providing the subsidy.
A group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should provide subsidies for unpopular or amateur
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that artistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be
Possible spelling mistake. 'subsidised' is British English.
subsidised
from another resource. The following essay will discuss both opinions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my personal opinion, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should fund them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
are sponsored
by alternative sources.

Several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
such as street painters and musicians should not be
Possible spelling mistake. 'subsidised' is British English.
subsidised
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that art activities are not the basic need of human beings, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should focus on more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
matters.
For example
,
rather
than spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
budget for these street
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
, the fund could
be allocated
for improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
education sectors,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportations or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
facilities. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
should seek sponsorship from private institutions or private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

For several reasons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
should
be funded
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
amateur painters have painted
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
areas, and they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the look and the atmosphere of these places from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aura into a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
one.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
have made artistic sculptures and placed them in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
areas such as in the parks, and they have made the parks become more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
and attractive.
Thirdly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
amateur musicians who are performing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
areas, such as in subways or in bus terminals have entertained the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
with their music.
Therefore
, it is undeniable that the existence of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
brings benefits for the society and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
Possible spelling mistake. 'subsidise' is British English.
subsidise
them.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions about funding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that they should
be funded
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
, while others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that they should be
Possible spelling mistake. 'subsidised' is British English.
subsidised
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
resources. In my point of view, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should allocate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
budget for amateur
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
as they bring benefits for individuals and communities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
once they have become professional, they should seek sponsorship from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
resources, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
providing the subsidy.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts