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Some people think that governments should ensure that their people stay healthy; others think it’s the responsibility of the individuals. Discuss both sides of the argument and provide your opinion.

Some people think that governments should ensure that their people stay healthy; others think it’s the responsibility of the individuals. 5gMQ
It is often argued that the State should take the responsibility of ensuring a healthy lifestyle of its citizens. However, others believe that the ones lie on the person to lead a healthy, stress-free life. I believe that it is the joint responsibility of the individual and the government and over the course of my essay, I will explain my point of view. On the other hand, it is true that each person is responsible for his own life choices. A healthy body is a healthy mind. So it is our duty to eat healthily and lead an active life. Nobody will be able to change our lifestyle for the better if we ourselves are unwilling to adopt a healthy way of living. What one eats, how much one exercise, who one does to lead a healthy stress-free life is one's own concern. To illustrate, most textbooks teach us about balanced healthy diet in our science class. However, with time, most of this knowledge is put on the back burner when we indulge in eating fast food. Similarly, the statutory warnings like "Smoking kills", "Alcohol is injurious to health" are flashed during the screening of any such scene on television. However, that does not deter people from taking up these vices! Therefore, it is up to the individual to make healthy lifestyle choices to ensure longevity and well being. Having said this, it is also true that the government, being an administrative body, should take the responsibility of maintaining the well-being of the public for various reasons. Firstly, improving the health of the citizens eventually leads to a decrease in disease burden and healthcare-related expenditure. This money can be utilised by the State for other beneficial purposes like building infrastructure. For example, the NHS of the United Kingdom takes care of the country's health, and it would be advantageous if a part of the expenditure could be cut down thanks to a healthier society. Secondly, the government alone has the authority to take the fast food chains heavily and to curb the sale of liquor and tobacco. This will ensure decreased availability to the people and therefore improve the health of the public. Moreover, government-sponsored health awareness programmes can help to build a healthy future generation. All in all, I believe that both the State and the individual should work hand in hand to ensure a healthy, disease-free life because to clap, both hands are needed.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that the State should take the responsibility of ensuring a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle of its citizens.
However
, others believe that the ones lie on the person to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I believe that it is the joint responsibility of the individual and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and over the course of my essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my point of view.

On the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
, it is true that each person is responsible for his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
choices. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
body is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
mind.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is our duty to eat
healthily
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
an active
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Nobody will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our lifestyle for the better if we ourselves are unwilling to adopt a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
way of living. What one eats, how much one exercise,
A noun should not follow 'who'. Try changing to a verb or maybe to "who is a one".
who one
does to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is one's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
concern. To illustrate, most textbooks teach us about balanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet in our science
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
However
, with time, most of this knowledge
is put
on the back burner when we indulge in eating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food.
Similarly
, the statutory warnings like
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Smoking kills
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Alcohol is injurious to health
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
are flashed
during the screening of any such scene on television.
However
, that does not deter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from taking up these vices!
Therefore
, it is up to the individual to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle choices to ensure longevity and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
.

Having said this, it is
also
true that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, being an administrative body, should take the responsibility of maintaining the well-being of the public for various reasons.
Firstly
, improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of the citizens
eventually
leads to a decrease in disease burden and healthcare-related expenditure. This money can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
by the State for other beneficial purposes like building infrastructure.
For example
, the NHS of the United Kingdom takes care of the country's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, and it would be advantageous if a part of the expenditure could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down thanks to a healthier society.
Secondly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
alone has the authority to take the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food chains
heavily
and to curb the sale of liquor and tobacco. This will ensure decreased availability to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of the public.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
-sponsored
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
awareness
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to build a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
future generation.

All in all, I believe that both the State and the individual should work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
to ensure a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
, disease-free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
to clap, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hands
are needed
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that governments should ensure that their people stay healthy; others think it’s the responsibility of the individuals.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
406 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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