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Some people think that governments should be responsible for healthy diet in public. Others, however, believe it should be individuals responsibility

Some people think that governments should be responsible for healthy diet in public. Others, however, believe it should be individuals responsibility 7Wbob
There are some argues about healthy eating among country population. It’s about governments ought to take responsibility of healthy lifestyle over people, but others consider people should response for themselves. Although there are some strong arguments on both of these sides, I think former is more sensible. On the one hand, people must follow to healthy diet, because it is their life, only they can correct their habits, nobody isn’t responsible and nobody hasn’t taken responsibility over them. Many people nowadays rely on fast food or pre- prepared meals These foods often contain too much fat, salt and sugar They are cheap to buy and very easy to prepare Many young people have grown up on a diet of convenience foods Populations in developed countries are increasingly overwelght. Availibility such health diseases may lead to extravagance governments' money for non-significant things, for instance, building hospitals, receiving help from other countries and other insensible issues. Building new hospital is more expensive than starting new sport-based facilities, in this case, this means that if government urges people to healthy living, authority can save money and could direct this exchange to other useful things. The main issue is unhealthy diet, and the reason is overeating as fast food, junk food and others, so only governments have chance to solve this problem with putting more taxes for fast food places and producing more nutritional products. In conclusion, Take everything into consideration, it is an irrefutable fact that healthy diet must for human body. It helps everybody reduce health problems and several diseases about obesity.
There are
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some
argues about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
eating among country population. It’
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
s


about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
ought to take responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle over
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
Did you mean "respond"?
response
for themselves. Although there
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
are


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
strong arguments on both of these sides, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
former is more sensible.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
follow to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is their life,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only


they can correct their habits, nobody isn’t responsible and nobody hasn’t taken

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
responsibility
over them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays rely on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
or
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre
-

prepared meals These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
contain too much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
, salt and sugar They
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
are


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to prepare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have grown up on a

diet of convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
Populations in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
are
increasingly


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overwelght
.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Availibility
such health diseases may lead to extravagance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
' money

for non-significant things,
for instance
, building hospitals, receiving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
other
countries and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
insensible issues. Building new hospital is
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
more


Use "(expensive)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
expensive
than starting new sport-based facilities,
in this case
, this means that if

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
urges
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
living, authority can save money and could

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
direct
this exchange to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
useful things. The main issue is unhealthy diet,
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
and


the reason is overeating as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
,
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so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments


have chance to solve this problem with putting more taxes for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
places

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
producing more nutritional products.

In conclusion
, Take everything into consideration, it is an irrefutable fact that

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
healthy
diet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
for human body. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
everybody
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
health
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
problems


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and
several diseases about obesity.
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IELTS essay Some people think that governments should be responsible for healthy diet in public. Others, however, believe it should be individuals responsibility

Essay
  American English
22 paragraphs
260 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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