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Nowadays many adults have full time jobs and the proportion of their lives spent on work is very high. Some of them are under

Nowadays many adults have full time jobs and the proportion of their lives spent on work is very high. Some of them are under 3MdE5
It is certainly true that in the modern era, adults completely spend their time on the full-time chore, which results in being under a plethora of pressure and unlikely to have time for their private lives. This essay will examine the causes as well as the obstacle related to this tendency. There are a number of reasons for this trend. The foremost cause is the requirement of the job that people apply for. Nowadays, competing between companies is really tense. Thus, to enhance employee's productivity, some corporations force the worker to work hard and diligently in order to meet its demand. As a consequence, more and more people have compulsory to work long hours and have no time for other activities. Another contributing factor to mention is the financial benefit. This is due to the fact that money is the first priority in life. For this reason, the worker will bury themselves in work no matter how hard and demanding it is. An example of this is that apart from office hours, a number of workers decide to work the night shift to get overtime pay which is also an element leading to the imbalance between life and work. Unsurprisingly, there are some significant complications that should be concerned. The possible effects of this dilemma include severe health questions and relationship difficulties. First, people spend a large amount of time in the workplace without taking a break or doing something else, which gives rise to the detrimental effects of falling on health. The explanation of this is that due to people's concentration in work, people do not follow the proper diet and end up with health trouble. For example, obesity in light of the fact that sitting in one place for a long time, eyesore due to staring on the screen all-day, . . . Secondly, individuals hardly have time for other parts of life, especially affairs, which is produced by working longer hours. As a result, weakening external communication is unavoidable, which leads to a gap in the long term. To sum up, spending a great amount of time working is a big problem that affects a plethora of people nowadays. It's mainly caused by the company's demand and financial benefits and results in health issues and difficulties related to relationships.
It is
certainly
true that in the modern era, adults completely spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the full-time chore, which results in being under a plethora of pressure and unlikely to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This essay will examine the causes
as well
as the obstacle related to this tendency.

There are a number of reasons for this trend. The foremost cause is the requirement of the job that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
apply for. Nowadays, competing between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
is
really
tense.
Thus
, to enhance employee's productivity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
corporations force the worker to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and
diligently
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
its demand. As a consequence, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have compulsory to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
long hours and have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for other activities. Another contributing factor to mention is the financial benefit.
This is due to the fact that
money is the
first
priority in life.
For this reason
, the worker will bury themselves in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
no matter how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and demanding it is. An example of this is that apart from office hours, a number of workers decide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
the night shift to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
overtime pay which is
also
an element leading to the imbalance between life and work.

Unsurprisingly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
significant complications that should
be concerned
. The possible effects of this dilemma include severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
questions and relationship difficulties.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend a large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in the workplace without taking a break or doing something else, which gives rise to the detrimental effects of falling on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. The explanation of this is that due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's concentration in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not follow the proper diet and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
trouble.
For example
, obesity in light of the fact that sitting in one place for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, eyesore due to staring on the screen all-day
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Secondly
, individuals hardly have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for other parts of life,
especially
affairs, which
is produced
by working longer hours.
As a result
, weakening external communication is unavoidable, which leads to a gap in the long term.

To sum up, spending a great amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
working is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem that affects a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays. It's
mainly
caused by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's demand and financial benefits and results in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues and difficulties related to relationships.
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IELTS essay Nowadays many adults have full time jobs and the proportion of their lives spent on work is very high. Some of them are under

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
382 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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