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Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports. dkWNX
In the present scenario, sports are part and parcel of our lives. When it comes to sports, especially extreme sports have become incredibly popular among countries. Some people argue that it should be prohibited by authorities. I thoroughly disagree with this viewpoint. In this essay, I shall elaborate on the reasons and methods to ensure sport player’s safety. To commence with, extreme sports are not as dangerous as many people think for a variety of reasons. First and foremost, when there is danger, there are risks. Hence, clear regulations and safety measures should be undertaken to curtail the risk of any accidents. In addition, people who take part in dangerous sports are usually required to undergo appropriate training so that the dangers are ameliorated. Furthermore, experienced sport coaches are always a good partnership for beginners. Secondly, the advancement of technology and fully protective equipment used in sports is constantly improving safety. Lastly, under no circumstances should a medical team be readily available at any time you need. All in all, these steps could minimise any dangers involved. Although the rate of death caused by dangerous sports has been witnessed, they remain only a tiny fraction of the total number of deaths annually. This may result in successful regulations and precautions. Human’s nature, especially youngsters, is curious. Consequently, some individuals are adventure-seekers and are ready to take up challenges even though these could be life-threatening. Participating in any dangerous sports, people will have a window of opportunity to step out of their comfort zone, and overcome phobias like height or water. So, I support the idea that each person should have their own right to choose their suitable sports. To summarize, I acknowledge that extreme sports bring aspects of dangers and daredevil. However, people who take part in these sports always pay attention to precautions while entering, to avoid endangerment.
In the present scenario,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are part and parcel of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
,
especially
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have become
incredibly
popular among countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that it should
be prohibited
by authorities. I
thoroughly
disagree with this viewpoint. In this essay, I shall elaborate on the reasons and methods to ensure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
player’s safety.

To commence with, extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are not as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
for a variety of reasons.
First
and foremost, when there is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
danger
, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
.
Hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
regulations and safety measures should be undertaken to curtail the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of any accidents.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
usually
required to undergo appropriate training
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangers
are ameliorated
.
Furthermore
, experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
coaches are always a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
partnership for beginners.
Secondly
, the advancement of technology and
fully
protective equipment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is
constantly
improving safety.
Lastly
, under no circumstances should a medical team be
readily
available at any time you need. All in all, these steps could
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangers
involved.

Although the rate of death caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
has
been witnessed
, they remain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a tiny fraction of the total number of deaths
annually
. This may result in successful regulations and precautions. Human’s nature,
especially
youngsters, is curious.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals are adventure-seekers and are ready to take up challenges
even though
these could be life-threatening. Participating in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have a window of opportunity to step out of their comfort zone, and overcome phobias like height or water.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that each person should have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
right to choose their suitable sports.

To summarize
, I acknowledge that extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
bring aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangers
and daredevil.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
always pay attention to precautions while entering, to avoid endangerment.
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IELTS essay Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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