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Some people think that government should pay money on schools and hospitals ,while other say that money should be spent on playgrounds.Do u agree or disagree?

Some people think that government should pay money on schools and hospitals, while other say that money should be spent on playgrounds. Do u agree or disagree? 7prjA
It is considered by few individuals that it is crucial to spend money on educational departments and medicals, however, others ponder that budget ought to be used for sports center. In my opinion, although schools and hospitals are necessary, sports also play a vital role in life. To commence with, the prime reason why high authorities should spend money on campus and medical is litrecy rate and healthy lifestyle as by using budget on educational departments poverty could be reduced because by acquiring digress, people can get job. In addition, If management consume money on hospitals, humans can live better life because they can get their treatment, it would be valuable for mankind. To illustrate, in old days citizens of Japan were suffering from several disease as there was no any hospital but now due to the hospital amenity, 70% individuals are living healthy life. Thus, money must be spent on schools and medicals. On the paradoxical side, recreational activities also very important as having leisure tasks are fruitful in order to reduce anxiety. For instance, a recent research show that ample of humas are get happiness after doing interesting activities. what is more, plethora of human beings have talent to play extreme sports, so if there is no any spots center, they have to hide their talent. As a consequence, playgrounds also a bit part of every one's life. To sum up, considering the above mentioned points, it is indispensable for utilising money on schools and hospitals for living luxurious life, whereas administration ought to be spent budget on sports center in order to feel relax.
It
is considered
by few individuals that it is crucial to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on educational departments and medicals,
however
, others ponder that budget ought to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
center. In my opinion, although schools and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
are necessary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
also
play a vital role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. To commence with, the prime reason why high authorities should spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on campus and medical is
Possible spelling mistake found.
litrecy
rate and healthy lifestyle as by using budget on educational
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "departments'" or "department's"?
departments
poverty could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
by acquiring digress,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
job.
In addition
, If management consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
, humans can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their treatment, it would be valuable for mankind. To illustrate, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days citizens of Japan were suffering from
Possible agreement error. The noun disease seems to be countable; consider using: "several diseases".
several disease
as there was
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
amenity, 70% individuals are living healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be spent
on schools and medicals. On the paradoxical side, recreational activities
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as having leisure tasks are fruitful in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
anxiety.
For instance
, a recent research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that ample of
Possible spelling mistake found.
humas
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
happiness after doing interesting activities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
what
is more, plethora of human beings have talent to play extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if there is
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
any spots center, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
their talent. As a consequence, playgrounds
also
a bit part of every one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. To sum up, considering the above mentioned points, it is indispensable for
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilising' is British English.
utilising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on schools and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
for living luxurious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, whereas administration ought to
be spent
budget on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
center in order to feel relax.

IELTS essay Some people think that government should pay money on schools and hospitals, while other say that money should be spent on playgrounds. Do u agree or disagree?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
267 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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