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some people think that government should pay for libraries in the towns, whereas others say that there is no need of the same. Discuss both view and your opinion

some people think that government should pay for libraries in the towns, whereas others say that there is no need of the same. Discuss both view and your opinion keLq2
It is thought by few individuals that libraries should be constructed for people use without any cost within the cities, while others claim that they are no longer required due to the availability of information on the digital tools. I believe that it should rather be built up more in poverty-stricken regions, where mobile phones and internet are inaccessible to residents, and one in every region. On the one hand, according to some, government should contribute fund for public libraries. This is because, students in many nations, particularly, India are taught in traditional way, in which books are used to learn topics. These books are not affordable to many, and sometimes, they are supposed to read the content from other authors as well. Since, internet does not provide all the books free, if libraries would be there, and that too free, then students would be able to rent the books for their study and reading purposes. Secondly, libraries keep material according to its users, like researchers could access all the journals, and a teenager could get reading stuff as per his age. But, this is not true with the internet, it offers excessive information to a student, and limited to a PhD scholar. Therefore, presence of libraries is important. On the other hand, some say that funds should not be spent on maintaining libraries due to internet. Because the digital network has made it possible for people to get any data, they want, and that too at anytime. Some libraries have limited working hours, so humans could access information even at night, and by sitting comfortably at their home. Other than that, keeping a library is costly, staff have to be paid, books have to updated time to time, but, the same is not required in digital libraries. So, libraries should not be opened and funded. According to my opinion, government should come up with an initiative to set up libraries in backward areas, or where many people are poor, so that they could collect any book they need to study for free. Because not many are able to fortunate to learn from internet. This is also an effective way to spread the importance of education, as free books will encourage people study, who otherwise do not. Besides this, not many, but atleast one library must be there in every city, since not many books are available online, like research articles, novels, manuscripts. In conclusion, though existence of libraries is not useful because online tools makes study convenient, libraries are still essential for finding the relevant data, and for students in order to study books for free.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by few individuals that libraries should
be constructed
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
without any cost within the cities, while others claim that they are no longer required due to the availability of information on the digital tools. I believe that it should
rather
be built
up more in poverty-stricken regions, where mobile phones and internet are inaccessible to residents, and one in every region.

On the one hand, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should contribute fund for public libraries. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations,
particularly
, India
are taught
in traditional way, in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to learn topics. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are not affordable to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, they
are supposed
to read the content from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
authors
as well
. Since, internet does not provide all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
, if libraries would be there, and that too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would be able to rent the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and reading purposes.
Secondly
, libraries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
material according to its users, like researchers could access all the journals, and a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
reading stuff as per his age.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, this is not true with the internet, it offers excessive information to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
, and limited to a PhD scholar.
Therefore
, presence of libraries is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
say that funds should not
be spent
on maintaining libraries due to internet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the digital network has made it possible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any data, they want, and that too at anytime.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
libraries have limited working hours,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
humans could access information even at night, and by sitting
comfortably
at their home.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
than that, keeping a library is costly, staff
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be paid
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
updated time to time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, the same is not required in digital libraries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, libraries should not
be opened
and funded.

According to my opinion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with an initiative to set up libraries in backward areas, or where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are poor,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they could collect any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
they need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
are able
Did you mean "too fortunate to"?
to fortunate to
learn from internet. This is
also
an effective way to spread the importance of education, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
will encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
, who
otherwise
do not.
Besides
this, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Possible spelling mistake found.
atleast
one library
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be there in every city, since not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are available online, like research articles, novels, manuscripts.

In conclusion
, though existence of libraries is not useful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
online tools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
convenient, libraries are
still
essential for finding the relevant data, and for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
.
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IELTS essay some people think that government should pay for libraries in the towns, whereas others say that there is no need of the same. Discuss both view and your opinion

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
437 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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