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some people think that government should let artists to express what they wany

some people think that government should let artists to express what they wany aqlyX
There is belief that artists should have the right to show their opinions in their art without being limited from the government. This is definitely everyone 's right to be free, and I believe government restrictions may have negative effect on art industry. Firstly, art is a crucially important part of every culture and valuable artist should be supported by governments duo to the fact that they are creative, and their ideas in their art; for instance, movie, paintings, music can have a significant influence on the development of art; moreover, if they have freedom, they can create new meanings or more exciting products like movies which can cover the reality of social life without being scared of the government's punishment. ; for instance, a large number of many great movies like dictator which have been admired by numerous audience from all around the world couldn’t be made if governments simply hadn’t allowed them. Secondly, I personally believe in the art shouldn’t be restricted; however, sometimes artists may produce something which be against government's rules or they criticize the religion which has a vital role in the society, in this case governments may feel threatened and take away the producer's freedom to express his views, but I completely believe that government dose not have the profession or right to decide about this and the people can decide to follow or support the artist or not in the light of the fact that ordinary people are just like the artist and can understand the situation better, but the government may just accuse some artists for it's own benefit. On the whole, all the kinds of art should be out of limitation to be able to progress and give more motivation to the artists, it is possible that some movies, paintings, etc. have express some sensitive issues of the society; nevertheless, governments should not be in charge of deciding to limit which one; otherwise, the majority of people believe in it too. We should always consider that it is far better to give every one enough space and freedom to express what they want, to be able to prepare a society of motivated and passionate artists which prospectively help the industry to develop in every aspect of art.
There is belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
should have the right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their opinions in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
without
being limited
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. This is definitely everyone 's right to be free, and I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
restrictions may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
industry.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is a
crucially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of every culture and valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
should
be supported
by
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "governments'" or "government's"?
governments
duo to the fact that they are creative, and their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
;
for instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
, paintings, music can have a significant influence on the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
;
moreover
, if they have freedom, they can create new meanings or more exciting products like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
which can cover the reality of social life without
being scared
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's punishment.
Loose punctuation mark.
;
for instance
,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
like dictator which have
been admired
by numerous audience from all around the world couldn’t
be made
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
simply
hadn’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
them.

Secondly
, I
personally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
shouldn’t
be restricted
;
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
may produce something which be against
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
rules or
they criticize the religion which has a vital role in the society,
in this case
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
may feel threatened and take away the producer's freedom to express his views,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I completely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
dose not have the profession or right to decide about this and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can decide to follow or support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
or not in the light of the fact that ordinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
and can understand the situation better,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
accuse
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
for
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (=it is)?
it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefit.

On the whole
, all the kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
should be out of limitation to be able to progress and give more motivation to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
, it is possible that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
, paintings, etc. have express
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sensitive issues of the society;
nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should not be in charge of deciding to limit which one;
otherwise
, the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
in it too. We should always consider that it is far better to give every one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
space and freedom to express what they want, to be able to prepare a society of motivated and passionate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
which
prospectively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the industry to develop in every aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
.
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IELTS essay some people think that government should let artists to express what they wany

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
376 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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