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Nowadays, people have developed poor eating habits and do not have a balanced diet. Explain the reasons for this problem and suggest some possible solutions.

Nowadays, people have developed poor eating habits and do not have a balanced diet. Explain the reasons for this problem and suggest some possible solutions. JlwLk
This day, people are not following a healthy diet plan. They prefer to eat tasty food such as fast foods, soft drinks and so on. However, these foods are not good for their health. Therefore, this essay will explain a few causes and give some perhaps solutions. Firstly, from my viewpoint, the most cause of eating habits is the huge captivity of workload in their workplace. People have to work all day. Therefore, they do not enough time to eat a portion of healthy food. Besides, they have to eat quickly to on time for work. In addition, they are facing too bad emotions such as stress and depression. Thus, they are not in the spirit to eat a balanced diet. Moreover, the commercial of fast foods restaurant is commonly popular. Therefore, people are easily appealing to beautifully decorated food. They will prefer to eat a portion of fast food. Secondly, to prevent developed poor eating habits, we have to suggest some possible solutions. For instance, the central government should encourage society to have a balanced diet. Because people are in a good health, the productivity will be better. Moreover, the government ought to limit the commercial of fast-food restaurants and ought to promote healthy food for humans. In conclusion, poor eating habits are not good for their health, we need to rid of them. We need to construct a balanced diet and accommodate each person's state of health for our meals on daily basis.
This day,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not following a healthy diet plan. They prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
tasty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
, soft drinks and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
However
, these
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foods
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Therefore
, this essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
a few causes and give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
perhaps solutions.

Firstly
, from my viewpoint, the most cause of eating habits is the huge captivity of workload in their workplace.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work all day.
Therefore
, they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
a portion of healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Besides
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
quickly
to on time for work.
In addition
, they are facing too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
emotions such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and depression.
Thus
, they are not in the spirit to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
a balanced diet.
Moreover
, the commercial of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "foods'" or "food's"?
foods
restaurant is
commonly
popular.
Therefore
,
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people
are
easily
appealing to
beautifully
decorated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. They will prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
a portion of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food.

Secondly
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
developed poor eating habits, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible solutions.
For instance
, the central
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should encourage society to have a balanced diet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, the productivity will be better.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ought to limit the commercial of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food restaurants and ought to promote healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for humans.

In conclusion
, poor eating habits are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, we need to rid of them. We need to construct a balanced diet and accommodate each person's state of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
for our meals on daily basis.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, people have developed poor eating habits and do not have a balanced diet. Explain the reasons for this problem and suggest some possible solutions.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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