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Some people think that government should give first priority to health services while other think that others facilities are also important . Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that government should give first priority to health services while other think that others facilities are also important. pXlQd
It is, indeed, a true fact that policy makers must give first preference to the health system of dwellers but it does not mean other facilities are not crucial. However, I personally feel that healthcare service and other priorities are are both compulsory to the better functioning of the nation and there are distinct factors which will be discussed in the forthcoming paragraphs along with reasonable conclusion. Firstly, the top- notch factor behind providing healthcare service to the citizens is the safety and security in as much as when law makers give better health facilities to their residents it not only save them from infectious ailments but also heighten the longevity of the inhabitants as a healthy individuals of the country and the work production is undoubtedly increase. Apart from that, another factor behind providing hospital to the denizens in rural areas which is quite advantageous for the better living standard of the rural occupants. For instance, when a younger generation of the country is dealing with health hazards it also have an adverse consequence on the economy of the country. So, for all these reasons, health amenities are vital for the smooth functioning of the nation as well as millennials. On the contrary side, other important services like better education, cleaner public transportation is fruitful for inhabitants. Firstly, when politicians provide free of cost education to the childrens it help poor people along with it and kids are the build blocks of the nation, so rule makers should provide education to the youngsters especially in low- developing economies. What' s more, if public transport service is also allowed to the humans in that case it lessen the traffic congestion and pollution but preserve the natural resources which will can be utilized in another work. In nutshell, after analyzing both the notions, I concur that both the amenities healthcare and other services are must to be given by politicians to for the betterment of the state and nation.
It is,
indeed
, a true fact that
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
policy makers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
give
first
preference to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
system of dwellers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it does not mean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
facilities are not crucial.
However
, I
personally
feel that healthcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
priorities
Possible typo: you repeated a word
are are
both compulsory to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
functioning of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
and there are distinct factors which will
be discussed
in the forthcoming paragraphs along with reasonable conclusion.
Firstly
, the top- notch factor behind providing healthcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
to the citizens is the safety and security in as much as when law makers give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
facilities to their residents it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
save them from infectious ailments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
heighten the longevity of the inhabitants as a healthy
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "individual"?
individuals
of the country and the work production is
undoubtedly
Consider using a past participle here: "increased".
increase
. Apart from that, another factor behind providing hospital to the denizens in rural areas which is quite advantageous for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
living standard of the rural occupants.
For instance
, when a younger generation of the country is dealing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
hazards it
also
Did you mean "has"?
have
an adverse consequence on the economy of the country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, for all these reasons,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
amenities are vital for the smooth functioning of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
as well
as millennials.
On the contrary
side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
education, cleaner public transportation is fruitful for inhabitants.
Firstly
, when politicians provide free of cost education to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens it
Did you mean "helps"?
help
poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
along with it and kids are the build blocks of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
makers should provide education to the youngsters
especially
in low- developing economies. What' s more, if public transport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to the humans
in that case
it lessen the traffic congestion and pollution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
preserve the natural resources which
Two modal verbs connected. Did you mean: "will, can", "will" or "can"?
will can
be utilized
in another work. In nutshell, after analyzing both the notions, I concur that both the amenities healthcare and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
are
After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use "must" or "have to" here.
must to
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by politicians to for the betterment of the state and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that government should give first priority to health services while other think that others facilities are also important.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
328 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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