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some people think that government should give financial support to artists, musicians and poets. Others think that it is a waste of money. discuss both views and give your opinion v.2

some people think that government should give financial support to artists, musicians and poets. Others think that it is a waste of money. 2
Government grant for artists, musicians and poets is a controversial topic in today' s society. Advocates believe that policy makers should take serious note on providing finance for these groups of people. However, I am of the opinion that this could cause a drain on state budget. On the one hand, there are several reasons for the public to speculate on the idea of government intervention. Admitedly, artists, musicians and poets play a vital role in a country' s culture and wellbeing. An explanation of this is that their works of arts foster our imagination, curiousity, creativity and cultural understandings. In addition, it is widely accepted that famous artists, musicians and poets bring about huge financial benefits for their countries. For instance, paintings of well-known artistsin museums attract thousands of visitors every year, resulting in new job opportunities for communities and sources of income for governments. This may mean that those people can indirectly create wellness for the country as a whole and its people. On the other hand, I am convinced that this can place a burden on countries on a tight budget. This is due to the fact that numerous sectors are awaiting to be granted such as health, agricuture, education, to name just a few. Take Vietnam as an example. Every year, the government have to spend a large amount of money for dealing with natural disasters and public health. If governments place high value on arts, musics and poetries, it is likelihood that other sectors will be suffered. Another reason to be concerned is that artists, musicians and poets are, in a way, equal to workers, farmers and the population in general. Thereby, it is not a viable approach to finance those people soly and leave others out of the race. To conclude, while some people argue that artists, musicians and poets deserved a place in financial support, I would content that public spending should be used wisely and efficiently on other important sectors.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
grant for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musicians
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poets
is a controversial topic in
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s society. Advocates believe that
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
policy makers
should take serious note on providing finance for these groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, I am of the opinion that this could cause a drain on state budget.

On the one hand, there are several reasons for the public to speculate on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
intervention.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Admitedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musicians
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poets
play a vital role in a
Possible spelling mistake found.
country&
#039; s culture and
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
. An explanation of this is that their works of arts foster our imagination,
Possible spelling mistake found.
curiousity
, creativity and cultural understandings.
In addition
, it is
widely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musicians
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poets
bring about huge financial benefits for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For instance
, paintings of well-known
Possible spelling mistake found.
artistsin
museums attract thousands of visitors every year, resulting in new job opportunities for communities and sources of income for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
. This may mean that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
indirectly
create wellness for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as a whole and its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, I
am convinced
that this can place a burden on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
on a tight budget.
This is due to the fact that
numerous sectors are awaiting to
be granted
such as health,
Possible spelling mistake found.
agricuture
, education, to name
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few. Take Vietnam as an example. Every year, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend a large amount of money for dealing with natural disasters and public health. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
place high value on arts, musics and
Possible spelling mistake found.
poetries
, it is likelihood that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sectors will
be suffered
. Another reason to
be concerned
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musicians
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poets
are, in a way, equal to workers, farmers and the population
in general
. Thereby, it is not a viable approach to finance those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
soly
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
others out of the race.

To conclude
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musicians
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poets
deserved a place in financial support, I would content that public spending should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
wisely
and
efficiently
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
sectors.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay some people think that government should give financial support to artists, musicians and poets. Others think that it is a waste of money. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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