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Some people think that government is wasting money on arts, it can spend the money on elsewhere

Some people think that government is wasting money on arts, it can spend the money on elsewhere 15kPn
Some people adhere to the view that spending funds for arts are unnecessary, and that the government should dispense it elsewhere instead.  I totally disagree with this point of view and feel that arts deserve every centavo spent on them,  in order to preserve the heritage of one's country, aid in its people's financial constraints, and contribute to the well-being development of the youth. To begin with,  the arts hold a significant part of a country's culture and traditions.  Moreover, it is in addition a way which artists utilize in expressing their thoughts,  dreams and visions.  Arts have not only represented aesthetics and creativity but have also cultivated young imaginations.  Without sufficient funding from the government, these aspiring artists might end up frustrated for holding back from what they desperately desired to pursue in the future. Another reason why arts should be subsidized is its beneficial impact on the economy.  To further explain it,  crafts are also regarded as economic drivers, which implies that,  it can create jobs, produce tax revenue,  encourage tourism and revitalize the rural and poor population.  Through arts organizations,  goods and services from local artists and merchants are purchased, which, in turn,  can help in sustaining the region's economy.  Consequently,  promotion of crafts could also transform a country to become increasingly attractive and accessible to foreign investors,  hence, embracing progress and globalization. All things considered, I believe arts should be financially sustained, so as to preserve cultures and traditions,  promote learning and human development for future artists, and to provide a strong workforce.
Some
 
people
 adhere to the view that spending funds for arts are unnecessary, and that the 
government
 should dispense it elsewhere
instead
.  I 
totally
 disagree with this point of view and feel that arts deserve every centavo spent on them,
 
in order to preserve the heritage of one's country, aid in its 
people
's financial constraints, and contribute to the well-being development of the youth.

To
begin
with,
 
the arts hold a significant part of a country's culture and traditions.  
Moreover
, it is in addition a way which artists utilize in expressing their thoughts,
 
dreams and visions.  Arts have not
only
represented aesthetics and creativity
but
have
also
cultivated young imaginations.  Without sufficient funding from the 
government
, these aspiring artists might
end
up frustrated for holding back from what they
desperately
desired to pursue in the future.

Another reason why arts should
be subsidized
 is its beneficial impact on the economy.  To
further
explain
 it,
 
crafts are
also
regarded as economic drivers, which implies that,
 
it can create jobs, produce tax revenue,
 
encourage tourism and revitalize the rural and poor population.  Through arts organizations,
 
goods
 and services from local artists and merchants are 
purchased
, which, in turn,
 
can 
help
 in sustaining the region's economy.  
Consequently
,
 
promotion of crafts could 
also
transform a country to become
increasingly
attractive and accessible to foreign investors,
 
hence
, embracing progress and globalization.

All things considered, I believe arts should be
financially
sustained,
so as to
preserve cultures and traditions,
 
promote learning and human development for future artists, and to provide a strong workforce.
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IELTS essay Some people think that government is wasting money on arts, it can spend the money on elsewhere

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
149 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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