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It is important for children to learn how to distinguish between right and wrong by carryingout punishments.Do you agree or disagree with this?

It is important for children to learn how to distinguish between right and wrong by carryingout punishments. with this? xmabb
According to Christian mythology, children are usually born with a sin unknowingly which is the consequence of what their former ancestors did in the past, breaking the words of God, the almighty. As for today, a set of people claims that the children should be able to identify the right and wrong, carrying punishments. I agree with this statement up to some extent and this essay will discuss more on this topic. To begin with, people normally says that kids are quite straight forward as they do not hide any lies in their minds. This is the reason that they have no worries to stir about and continues to cherish every single moment of their lives, as compared to adults. They are more wiser and have experienced life than the children but in order to survive in the present world, they add a few lies and hatred. In other words, they are like a gold ornament in which small amount of copper is added to increase its strength while if it is made only out of gold it can not be assured that they would last long and might get broken into pieces. However, children should learn about the dos and don'ts of society. Parents should take their positions and should take the initiative as they are the first teachers of children. Also, whenever it is noticed that the children attempt some sort of mistakes, the adults could initiate mild punishments, but not so far. If they go too far, it is considered as violations of the government law and cases could be charged for harassing the children. Therefore, parents can train them from an early stage about the moral values through storytellings and piece of advice. Hence, they turn into ideal citizens of the nation bringing more hopes for their nation. To sum up, I pen down saying that rather than executing punishments, good stories and mindset can solve the statement. Children should remain just and honest in order to fight with the cruel world. Nothing external should affect their true selves.
According to Christian mythology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
usually
born with a sin
unknowingly
which is the consequence of what their former ancestors did in the past, breaking the words of God, the almighty. As for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, a set of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claims that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be able to identify the right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, carrying punishments. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement up to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent and this essay will discuss more on this topic.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
normally
says that kids are quite straight forward as they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
any lies in their minds. This is the reason that they have no worries to stir about and continues to cherish every single moment of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, as compared to adults. They are
Use only "wiser" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more wiser
and have experienced life than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in order to survive in the present world, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
a few lies and hatred.
In other words
, they are like a gold ornament in which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of copper is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to increase its strength while if it
is made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
out of gold it can not
be assured
that they would last long and might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
broken into pieces.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should learn about the dos and don'ts of society. Parents should take their positions and should take the initiative as they are the
first
teachers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Also
, whenever it
is noticed
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
attempt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of mistakes, the adults could initiate mild punishments,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far. If they go too far, it
is considered
as violations of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
law and cases could
be charged
for harassing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Therefore
, parents can train them from an early stage about the moral values through
Possible spelling mistake found.
storytellings
and piece of advice.
Hence
, they turn into ideal citizens of the nation bringing more hopes for their nation.

To sum up, I pen down saying that
rather
than executing punishments,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
stories and mindset can solve the statement.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
should remain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
and honest in order to fight with the cruel world. Nothing external should affect their true selves.
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IELTS essay It is important for children to learn how to distinguish between right and wrong by carryingout punishments. with this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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