Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

some people think that government is wasting money on arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. to what extent do you agree with this view

some people think that government is wasting money on arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. to what extent do you agree with this view RQ3P
Arts is the way of a human-being to express their feelings through canvas, portrait, and other futuristic feature. In some cities, the party who funded an arts event is government. However, the community are against the idea and opine that the money should be spent on different sector. In my viewpoint, I strongly agree with the public opinion because money ought to spend to city’s infrastructure to the needs of its development, both for the city and its people. First of all, the fact that a city need the reconstruction every year is inevitable. Building the remote area, upgrading the existing facilities, adding new route for transportation are the significance reasons why the fund should be prioritized in developing the city rather than transfer to the art organisation. Moreover, the tax public paid once a month is believed to create a balance life in the community. One clear example is to do charity for those who are in trouble with low income or elderly who do not have a proper occupation. Besides, artist is a promising profession to earn a living. To fund the art community is believed not one of government obligations. In addition to that, as an artist able to sell their artwork, the income will not go to the tax. However, they will save it for their community. Nevertheless, its community can make the public pay the entrance of their gallery show room rather than being supported by the local government. Hence, they still can earn the money because a plethora of people who enter the gallery are likely have interest to have one of the work done by the artist. In conclusion, the government are not obligate to support the artwork community since it is believed that they can earn money by conducting an art show. Instead of funding the art community, developing and building the infrastructure is believed to be essential.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
is the way of a human-being to express their feelings through canvas, portrait, and other futuristic feature. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, the party
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
funded an
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "arts'" or "art's"?
arts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
are against the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and opine that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should
be spent
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sector. In my viewpoint, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the public opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
ought to spend to city’s infrastructure to the needs of its development, both for the city and its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the fact that a city need the reconstruction every year is inevitable. Building the remote area, upgrading the existing facilities, adding new route for transportation are the significance reasons why the fund should
be prioritized
in developing the city
rather
than transfer to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
.
Moreover
, the tax public paid once a month is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believed
to create a balance life in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example is to do charity for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are in trouble with low income or elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not have a proper occupation.

Besides
, artist is a promising profession to earn a living. To fund the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believed
not one of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
obligations.
In addition
to that, as an artist able to sell their artwork, the income will not go to the tax.
However
, they will save it for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
.
Nevertheless
, its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the public pay the entrance of their gallery
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
room
rather
than
being supported
by the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
Hence
, they
still
can earn the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a plethora of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
enter the gallery are likely have interest to have one of the work done by the artist.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
are not
Consider using a past participle here: "obligated".
obligate
to support the artwork
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
since it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believed
that they can earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
by conducting an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
.
Instead
of funding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
, developing and building the infrastructure is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believed
to be essential.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay some people think that government is wasting money on arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. to what extent do you agree with this view

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts