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Some people think that good health is a basic human need, so the medical service should not be run by profit-making companies. Do you think the disadvantages of the private health care outweigh the advantages?

Some people think that good health is a basic human need, so the medical service should not be run by profit-making companies. Do you think the disadvantages of the private health care outweigh the advantages? nQXe
In modern society people are more monitor their health very carefully. Moreover, nowadays-private health companies have the quality and expensive treatment among the common people. Due to this society, believe that well-being is a rudimentary human necessity. Why commercial companies should provide medical service? If we look deeper for pros and cons have almost the same amount. Firstly, private companies have many advantages from the side of the queues. For example, if have any medical problems you do not have to wait long queues and waste your time as in a government hospitals. Second object for private corporations is good service and quality of service, and for every patient all of the doctors have an unusual attention. In addition, private companies have better management and marketing then others and they can lure many specialists giving them a good salary. On the other hand as advantages, there are disadvantages too. Humans trust that private companies have a very good and expensive medical devices but it is not always like that, because they most of the clinics have the similar things. Then there is cost of treatments very high and it is not for many people who needs take a good treatment but cannot afford for themselves. In conclusion, private health care companies are necessary for everyone. They make a good service for society who have some problems with health and there now, one of the best specialist, which can help and choose correct way.
In modern society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more monitor their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
carefully
.
Moreover
, nowadays-private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have the quality and expensive treatment among the common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Due to this society, believe that well-being is a rudimentary human necessity. Why commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should provide medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
? If we look deeper for pros and cons have almost the same amount.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages from the side of the queues.
For example
, if have any medical problems you do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wait long queues and waste your time as in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
hospitals. Second object for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
corporations is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
and quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
, and for every patient
Consider using "all the".
all of the
doctors have an unusual attention.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have better management and marketing then
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
others and
they can lure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
specialists giving them a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
salary.

On the other hand
as advantages, there are disadvantages too. Humans trust that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
and expensive medical devices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not always like that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they most of the clinics have the similar things. Then there
is cost
of treatments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high and it is not for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
Did you mean "need"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
needs
take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
treatment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
cannot afford for themselves.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are necessary for everyone. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
for society who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, one of the best specialist, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and choose correct way.
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IELTS essay Some people think that good health is a basic human need, so the medical service should not be run by profit-making companies. Do you think the disadvantages of the private health care outweigh the advantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
243 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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