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Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to so much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to so much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. 8XdB
The advance of internet emerges a plethora of advantages to the society of the world. Nowadays, internet is the first communication and observes about education. Furthermore, in my opinion half of our lives are used to improve our skills in internet. Nevertheless, internet has some disadvantages as hoax issues which often spread throughout the world. If we tolerate with this problem, it will cause bad things happen. First, the internet has multiple profits that are needed by a lot of people today. Additionally, internet can manufacture the user easily to find a number of latest news. For instance, we know that coronavirus is immensely dangerous and abundance people died from this virus. It can be concluded, that we get a number of news from the internet. Henceforth, internet also has the beneficial impact in our daily life as easily to get job vacancies. For sample, my brother after graduating want to find a side job to add a tiny daily results. Afterwards, my brother saw a sponsor on Instagram about Covid-19 volunteers. Consequently, now my brother is a Covid-19 volunteer at some hospitals in Jakarta. On the other hand, internet not only has a lot of beneficial impact. If we open our eyes, internet has a lot of adverse side in everyday life. In addition, a number of applications which use internet give a bad impression. For instance, when I was sixteen years old, my brother said to me that he gets indecent treat or people say ‘bullying’. Furthermore, internet can make us too obsessed to use it. For sample, when I was watched a number of news in Global TV. Subsequently, this news tells of a child who was cried because there was no internet connection in the area. Nevertheless, internet can make us easily believe about hot issues which are don’t know about the truth. Nowadays, a number of hoax issues that have spread everywhere. Henceforth, some issue that doesn’t know whether it is true or not is about religion. For example, when I was thirteen years old. I got rumored that the end of the world was 2015. The last one, sometimes internet user’s lack control of the internet resulting in the emerges of pornographic content. In my point of view, we can conclude clearly emerging. Internet certainly has an equal comparison between the advantages and disadvantages. Personally, I agree that internet has a lot of treasured information. Depend on us to hold our emotion from bad impact which don’t even know the truth yet
The advance of internet emerges a plethora of advantages to the society of the world. Nowadays, internet is the
first
communication and observes about education.
Furthermore
, in my opinion half of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in internet.
Nevertheless
, internet has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages as hoax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
spread throughout the world. If we tolerate with this problem, it will cause
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things happen.

First
, the internet has multiple profits that
are needed
by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
Additionally
, internet can manufacture the user
easily
to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
For instance
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
that coronavirus is
immensely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and abundance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
from this virus. It can
be concluded
, that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
from the internet. Henceforth, internet
also
has the beneficial impact in our daily life as
easily
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
job vacancies. For sample, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brother
after graduating want to find a side job to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
a tiny daily results. Afterwards, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a sponsor on Instagram about Covid-19 volunteers.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brother
is a Covid-19 volunteer at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hospitals in Jakarta.

On the other hand
, internet not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of beneficial impact. If we open our eyes, internet has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of adverse side in everyday life.
In addition
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of applications which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
internet give a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impression.
For instance
, when I was sixteen years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brother
said to me that he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
indecent treat or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say ‘bullying’.
Furthermore
, internet can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us too obsessed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it. For sample, when I was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in Global TV.
Subsequently
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
of a child who
was cried
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there was no internet connection in the area.
Nevertheless
, internet can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us
easily
believe about hot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
which are don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about the truth. Nowadays, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of hoax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
that have spread everywhere. Henceforth,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
that doesn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
whether it is true or not is about religion.
For example
, when I was thirteen years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
rumored that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the world was 2015. The last one,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
internet user’s lack control of the internet resulting in the emerges of pornographic content.

In my point of view, we can conclude
clearly
emerging. Internet
certainly
has an equal comparison between the advantages and disadvantages.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that internet has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of treasured information. Depend on us to hold our emotion from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact which don’t even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
the truth
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
yet
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IELTS essay Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to so much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
417 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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