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A report indicated that many children between 7 and 11 years old watch television and/or play video game too much How does the problem affect? What measures can be taken to control it?

A report indicated that many children between 7 and 11 years old watch television and/or play video game too much How does the problem affect? What measures can be taken to control it? AXwe
A report indicated that many children between 7 and 11 years old watch television and/or play video game too much How does the problem affect? What measures can be taken to control it? Recently, various entertainment has appeared and become popular among children. A research has shown that children in the age group of 7 to 11 were an addiction to those entertainments such as television and video games. This essay will try to identify the factors contributing to this and also explain some effects that may emerge from this. Addiction to entertainment shows on television and playing video games were given a bad effect on children. The age between 7 and 11 was the golden time for children to develop their social skills. However, since they are spending much time doing indoor activities like watching television or playing video games, they have not an opportunity to develop this skill by interact and socialize with others. Another problem may appear which is decreasing the ability to focus on study. For example, when children at school, they tend to think ‘how do get home as soon as possible? ”. Thus, these children can continue to watch their favorite tv channels or play their video games. As the result, it will influence their academic report. Fortunately, steps can be taken to improve this situation. Firstly, parents are actively involved in children's activities and doing outdoor activities together. For example, going cycling or camping to the new place where the children have not gone there so they will feel very excited. As a result, it will help their kids to develop social skills. Secondly, the parent should enact a policy to restrict the amount of time of using TV and playing video games. For example, parents allow children to watch tv or to play video games on the weekend, so on the weekday children only focus on their studies. In conclusion, there are several effects on the children cause of watching tv and playing video games excessively. However, there are solutions that parents can conduct to solve these problems.
A report indicated that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
between 7 and 11 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and/or play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game too much

How does the problem affect?

What measures can
be taken
to control it?

Recently, various entertainment has appeared and become popular among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
A research
has shown that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the age group of 7 to 11 were an addiction to those entertainments such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. This essay will try to identify the factors contributing to this and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
effects that may emerge from this.

Addiction to entertainment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. The age between 7 and 11 was the golden time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to develop their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
However
, since they are spending much time doing indoor activities like watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, they have not an opportunity to develop this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
by interact and socialize with others. Another problem may appear which is decreasing the ability to focus on study.
For example
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at school, they tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
‘how do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
home as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible? ”.
Thus
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can continue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
their favorite
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
channels or play their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. As the result, it will influence their academic report.

Fortunately
, steps can
be taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
this situation.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
actively
involved in children's activities and doing outdoor activities together.
For example
, going cycling or camping to the new place where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have not gone there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
excited.
As a result
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their kids to develop social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
should enact a policy to restrict the amount of time of using TV and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
or to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on the weekend,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on the weekday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focus on their studies.

In conclusion
, there are several effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
cause of watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
excessively
.
However
, there are solutions that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can conduct to solve these problems.
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IELTS essay A report indicated that many children between 7 and 11 years old watch television and/or play video game too much How does the problem affect? What measures can be taken to control it?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
346 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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