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Some people think that formal education should start for children as early as possible. While others think that it should not start until 7 years of age. discuss both views and give your opinion v.4

Some people think that formal education should start for children as early as possible. While others think that it should not start until 7 years of age. 4
It is believed by some people that children should start attending school at an early age as it will help them learn things faster and complete their professional education before adulthood. While there are others who think the opposite and such people have the opinion that a child's formal education should not start until he or she gets 7 years old. I completely agree with this assertion of not sending toddlers in schools. To begin with the advantages of an early education, I admit that a child's mind grasps fast in developing stage that is considered between 1 to 10 years of age. Parents think that kids’ mind expands in school at a faster pace, thus starting education, early will help them grow as an intelligent person. On the contrary, I believe that a child should learn creative things until he attains 6 to 7 years of age as It will help their mind works fast and in an innovative manner. If kids are taught formal subjects when they are not fully ready, they may start considering study as a burden. As a result, such children lose interest in studies. In a research, it has been found that most of the college dropouts had started gaining education when they were only 4 to 5 years old while majority of innovative leaders started their formal education late. In conclusion, as it is evident that sending a child in school before he or she turns 7 years old may have negative effects on his mind and his creativity gets killed so I think that a law should be there to put a certain age limit for starting school education for kids.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that children should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at an early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
as it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them learn things faster and complete their professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
adulthood. While there are others who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the opposite and such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have the opinion that a child's formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
until he or she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
7 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this assertion of not sending toddlers in schools.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the advantages of an early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, I admit that a child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
grasps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
in developing stage that
is considered
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1 and 10".
between 1 to 10
years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. Parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that kids’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
expands in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at a faster pace,
thus
starting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, early will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them grow as an intelligent person.

On the contrary
, I believe that a child should learn creative things until he attains 6 to 7 years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
as It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
works
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and
Consider replacing "in an innovative manner" with the adverb for "innovative"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an innovative manner
. If kids
are taught
formal subjects when they are not
fully
ready, they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
considering study as a burden.
As a result
, such children lose interest in studies. In a research, it has
been found
that most of the college dropouts had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
when they were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
4 to 5 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
while
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
innovative leaders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
their formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
late.

In conclusion
, as it is evident that sending a child in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
he or she turns 7 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
and his creativity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
killed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that a law should be there to put a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
limit for starting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for kids.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that formal education should start for children as early as possible. While others think that it should not start until 7 years of age. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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