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Some people think that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals when they visit cultural and tourist attractions in a country. v.17

Some people think that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals when they visit cultural and tourist attractions in a country. v. 17
The tourism industry has flourished significantly over the last few years. Large numbers of people travel around the globe, which brings money and prosperity to the visiting country. Some people argue that tourists create lots of pollution by throwing garbage which required extra effort and money to clean. Thus should be charged more. However, others state that they bring business to the country and should charge nominally. I believe that foreign visitors help native peoples in order to run their business by using their services. Tourists play a pivotal role in strengthening the economy of the destination country. Countries such as Malaysia and Singapore mainly depend on their tourism industry. They are spending a huge amount of money to preserve their historical places. That will attract millions of tourists to travel these countries every year. In addition to this, tourist used local services such as hotels, restaurant, clothes and health facilities. This helped local peoples to run their business smoothly. However, tourists also bring waste and diseases with themselves. This could severely harm the health of local peoples. For example, the epidemic of Malaysia was due to a foreign visitor. Furthermore, tourists are lethargic and do not care about cleaning, and would like to throw garbage and other waste materials anywhere they want. This required extra cost to clean and preserve the beauty of the surrounding nature. In conclusion, I believe that we should welcome tourist whole-heartedly and let them enjoy their holidays economically. This would leave positive impression on their mind and a reason to visit the place again.
The tourism industry has flourished
significantly
over the last few years. Large numbers of
people
travel around the globe, which brings money and prosperity to the visiting
country
.
Some
people
argue that
tourists
create lots of pollution by throwing garbage which required extra effort and money to clean.
Thus
should
be charged
more.
However
, others state that they bring business to the
country
and should charge
nominally
. I believe that foreign visitors
help
native
peoples
in order to run their business by using their services.

Tourists play a pivotal role in strengthening the economy of the destination
country
.
Countries
such as Malaysia and Singapore
mainly
depend on their tourism industry. They are spending a huge amount of money to preserve their historical places. That will attract millions of
tourists
to travel these
countries
every year.
In addition
to this,
tourist
used
local services such as hotels, restaurant, clothes and health facilities. This
helped
local
peoples
to run their business
smoothly
.

However
,
tourists
also
bring waste and diseases with themselves. This could
severely
harm the health of local
peoples
.
For example
, the epidemic of Malaysia was due to a foreign visitor.
Furthermore
,
tourists
are lethargic and do not care about cleaning, and would like to throw garbage and other waste materials anywhere they want. This required extra cost to clean and preserve the beauty of the surrounding nature.

In conclusion
, I believe that we should welcome
tourist
whole-
heartedly
and
let
them enjoy their holidays
economically
. This would
leave
positive
impression on their mind and a reason to visit the place again.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals when they visit cultural and tourist attractions in a country. v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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