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Some people think that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals when they visit cultural and tourist attractions in a country. To what extent do you agree with this view? v.12

Some people think that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals when they visit cultural and tourist attractions in a country. v. 12
There is an argument that cultural attractions should charge a low price for citizens that live in the same country and increase it for the ones that come from outside. However, I partially agree with this statement for the following reasons. On the one hand, charge more tourists is not an intelligent decision, since these attractions are mostly made to attract this type of people, consequently putting I higher price for foreign to visit it may have a huge impact on this place’s economy. To show that, Australia has high impact on its economy since they start charging higher prices for foreign tourists. Not only economy could be prejudiced, but also the history of that place as the number of tourists decrease, therefore a part of the country’s history could be lost. On the other hand, this is should be a citizen’s right, due to the fact that these attractions normally are what represents the culture of that country and its citizens, as a result everyone that lives there could be passionate and patriot about its country. For instance, when someone have the change to know better their country’s culture, they have more chances of take care and preserve it. Additionally, it could be an effort to maintain the customs and traditions, because with this incentive people are prone to addict to it, as a result, locals could know better their countries. In conclusion, I do believe that although charging different prices has its advantages it could also have their downsides. Ideally a fair price should the charged in this way both sides are benefitted.
There is an argument that cultural attractions should charge a low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
for citizens that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and increase it for the ones that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from outside.
However
, I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement for the following reasons.

On the one hand, charge more tourists is not an intelligent decision, since these attractions are
mostly
made to attract this type of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
consequently
putting I higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
for foreign to visit it may have a huge impact on this place’s economy. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that, Australia has high impact on its economy since they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
charging higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
for foreign tourists. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
economy could
be prejudiced
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the history of that place as the number of tourists decrease,
therefore
a part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
history could
be lost
.

On the other hand
, this
Did you mean "it"?
is
should be a citizen’s right, due to the fact that these attractions
normally
are what represents the culture of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and its citizens,
as a result
everyone that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
there could be passionate and patriot about its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For instance
, when someone
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "has".
have
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to know better their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
culture, they have more chances of take care and preserve it.
Additionally
, it could be an effort to maintain the customs and traditions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
with this incentive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are prone to addict to it,
as a result
, locals could know better their countries.

In conclusion
, I do believe that although charging
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
has its advantages it could
also
have their downsides.
Ideally
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
should the charged in this way both sides are
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitted
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Some people think that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals when they visit cultural and tourist attractions in a country. v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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