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Some people think that family is more influence on young adults others think that friends are more influence on them. Dicuss both the views and give your opinion.

Some people think that family is more influence on young adults others think that friends are more influence on them. Dicuss both the views and give your opinion. xd2y
Every person gets influenced by some another person sometimes by family members and sometime by their friends. It depends on the quantum of time spent but still there are some controversies prevailing to that, whose detailed will be discussed in the following paragraph before reason and conclusion is reached. To commence with, it is believed that adolescence are much more confident and happy when they are with their peer groups as they feel companion with similar mentality and same interest always ready to do something new. When they are with their peer group they always like to be enthusiastic energetic and this happy mood can change the whole environment. Being with same age group works like a booster and can have result oriented performance, not only that they are like open hearted friend who can write anything on any page of our heart. Having same mentality they’ll also help you. In this age when they need somebody who can also help them a true friend is always there to help them which fulfils the proverb, ” a friend in need is a friend indeed”. On the contrary, if we talk about youngsters they are unexperienced bundle where the experience of elders in family can help them to be extrovert. Parents are one of the key who can guide them a true guidance as they are aware about their liking and disliking since their childhood. It is moral duty of parents to shape the future of children by teaching good virtue and teach lessons of life. They have stayed together for a long period of time so that children also learn from observing the behaviour of parents. Parents can be shield from outer worlds bombarding. Here we can say that influence of parents can make them a better human. Agglomerating all the points elaborated above we can conclude that we learn lessons of caring is sharing from family as charity begins from home but talking about mature person they tend to be more comfortable in same age group where they can share things without feeling shy.
Every person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
influenced by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
another person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
by family members and sometime by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. It depends on the quantum of time spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
controversies prevailing to that, whose detailed will
be discussed
in the following paragraph
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reason and conclusion
is reached
.

To commence with, it
is believed
that adolescence are much more confident and happy when they are with their peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
as they feel companion with similar mentality and same interest always ready to do something new. When they are with their peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
they always like to be enthusiastic energetic and this happy mood can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the whole environment. Being with same age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
works like a booster and can have result oriented performance, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that they are like
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
open hearted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
who can write anything on any page of our heart. Having same mentality they’ll
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
you. In this age when they need somebody who can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them a true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
is always there to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them which
Possible spelling mistake found.
fulfils
the proverb,
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
”
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
in need is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
indeed
”.

On the contrary
, if we talk about youngsters they are
Possible spelling mistake found.
unexperienced
bundle where the experience of elders in family can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to be extrovert.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
are one of the key who can guide them a true guidance as they are aware about their liking and disliking since their childhood. It is moral duty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to shape the future of children by teaching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
virtue and teach lessons of life. They have stayed together for a long period of time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that children
also
learn from observing the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
can be
Consider using a past participle here: "shielded".
shield
from outer worlds bombarding. Here we can say that influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them a better human.

Agglomerating all the points elaborated above we can conclude that we learn lessons of caring is sharing from family as charity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
from home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
talking about mature person they tend to be more comfortable in same age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
where they can share things without feeling shy.
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IELTS essay Some people think that family is more influence on young adults others think that friends are more influence on them. Dicuss both the views and give your opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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