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Some people think that Facebook has had negative impact on both individual and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that Facebook has had negative impact on both individual and societies. GLwPB
Social networking sites are the most popular as well as most useable sites in recent Global situations. Some people think that Facebook causes different drawbacks to human life and societies. I personally believe that it can be proved beneficial up to some extent. This is close to being the best idea and I will support my view with examples. First of all, it is disputable that Social networking sites like Facebook have a huge cons impact on our societies and children because most adults even old-aged people are disturbed by this and lost their time on these websites. Furthermore, humans are losing their time by doing irregular activities on Facebook or other websites. For example, Children or adults use the Facebook app for just fun and gaming purposes not with a special aim to learn something from this. Secondly, the other downside of Facebook is that people see sexual things or enjoy some nudity materials which are the destruction of the youth generation. Even though it provides some relaxation but it causes incredible side effect which relates with the production of generation. Moreover, this negative effect irritates young spirituality as well as the body. For instance, most of the countries see facebook due to stimulation sexuality like adults of the United States dramatically use Facebook for this desired purpose. To put it in a nutshell, Social networking sites have a significant disadvantage that affects human life and the growth of our societies as well as our adults, children's even old aged people that use Facebook for a long time in the daily routine of life.
Social networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
are the most popular
as well
as most useable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
in recent Global situations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that Facebook causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
drawbacks to human life and societies. I
personally
believe that it can
be proved
beneficial up to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent. This is close to being the best
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and I will support my view with examples.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is disputable that Social networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
like Facebook have a huge cons impact on our societies and children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are disturbed
by this and lost their time on these websites.
Furthermore
, humans are losing their time by doing irregular activities on Facebook or other websites.
For example
, Children or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the Facebook app for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
fun and gaming purposes not with a special aim to learn something from this.

Secondly
, the other downside of Facebook is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
sexual things or enjoy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nudity materials which are the destruction of the youth generation.
Even though
it provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
relaxation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it causes incredible side effect which relates with the production of generation.
Moreover
, this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect irritates young spirituality
as well
as the body.
For instance
, most of the countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
due to stimulation sexuality like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
of the United States
dramatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Facebook for this desired purpose.

To put it in a nutshell, Social networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
have a significant disadvantage that affects human life and the growth of our societies
as well
as our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
, children's even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Facebook for a long time in the daily routine of life.
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IELTS essay Some people think that Facebook has had negative impact on both individual and societies.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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