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OVERBURDEN TO GET QUALITY IN ACHIEVEMENTS ?

OVERBURDEN TO GET QUALITY IN ACHIEVEMENTS? Wq5jq
The idea that more people believed that overburden can help complete higher quality in achievements, which lies among arguable debates, has again sparked controversy. Some proponents maintain that the traditional method to perform works daily for eight hours per day is the best way to finish almost field, while opponents still claim that a new world rapidly developed today needs the new change in almost our habit, especially the performance of daily work. This essay will elaborate on both sides of the debates and thus lead to final conclusion. Firstly, there are numerous reasons why professional teachers, coaches believe that this applies to reinforce including add more hours in training to students and athletes, on the individual and national level. An instance illustrating the idea that before an Olympic examination, the football teams always training all the day before the match to check tactical contents and make suitable with a new stadium and local weather as well. Nevertheless, the most evident one derives from the fact that the majority of people are not an athlete or coach as well. We just spend time almost on normal work such as engineering, accountant, even chefs or cleaner. The work that needs to overburden just fill a little minority of the general career picture. Furthermore, a survey from the University of Tasmania proved that some countries that have the best quality of life that are from Scandinavia where governments often find more and more solution to reduce working hours for their citizen. In conclusion, while there are strong arguments on both sides of the debates, a final conclusion must be drawn. Hence, I strongly believed that the answer to an important question. What will you choose your lifestyle which you need to get to more happy or get to more achievements? Of course, I have chosen the happy.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believed that overburden can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
complete higher quality in achievements, which lies among arguable debates, has again sparked controversy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
proponents maintain that the traditional method to perform works daily for eight hours per day is the best way to finish almost field, while opponents
still
claim that a new world
rapidly
developed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
needs the new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in almost our habit,
especially
the performance of daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. This essay will elaborate on both sides of the debates and
thus
lead to final conclusion.

Firstly
, there are numerous reasons why professional teachers, coaches believe that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
applies to
reinforce including
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
more hours in training to students and athletes, on the individual and national level. An instance illustrating the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
an Olympic examination, the football teams always training all the day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the match to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
tactical contents and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
suitable with a new stadium and local weather
as well
.
Nevertheless
, the most evident one derives from the fact that the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not an athlete or coach
as well
. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
spend time almost on normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
such as engineering, accountant, even chefs or cleaner. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
that needs to overburden
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
fill a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
minority of the general career picture.
Furthermore
, a survey from the University of Tasmania proved that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries that have the best quality of life that are from Scandinavia where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
find more and more solution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
working hours for their citizen.

In conclusion
, while there are strong arguments on both sides of the debates, a final conclusion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be drawn
.
Hence
, I
strongly
believed that the answer to an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
question. What will you choose your lifestyle which you need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to more happy or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to more achievements?
Of course
, I have chosen the happy.
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IELTS essay OVERBURDEN TO GET QUALITY IN ACHIEVEMENTS?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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