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It will bring long term benefits for human. Firstly, they can help to maintain biodiversity

It will bring long term benefits for human. Firstly, they can help to maintain biodiversity mX2qN
On the other hand, I think it is very urgent and necessary to protect endangered species. It will bring long term benefits for human. Firstly, they can help to maintain biodiversity. If a species is lost, it can affect the food chain. Therefore, a certain species may over-reproduce, it can cause damage to global warming and cause climate change. For example, in Australia where rabbits do not have natural enemies. It reproduces which is very harmful to agriculture and nature environment. Secondly, some animals are a source of food and medicine for humans. Humans can synthesize drugs/medicines, vitamins and enzymes from animals such as rhino horn, honey… They are very high economic value. In conclusion, I agree that it can cost a lot of money, time and manpower. But there are also many benefits to consider.
On the other hand
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
urgent and necessary to protect endangered species. It will bring long term benefits for human.
Firstly
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to maintain biodiversity. If a species
is lost
, it can affect the food chain.
Therefore
, a certain species may over-reproduce, it can cause damage to global warming and cause climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
For example
, in Australia where rabbits do not have natural enemies. It reproduces which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful to agriculture and nature environment.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
animals are a source of food and medicine for humans. Humans can synthesize drugs/medicines, vitamins and enzymes from animals such as rhino horn, honey… They are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high economic value.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it can cost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money, time and manpower.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to consider.
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IELTS essay It will bring long term benefits for human. Firstly, they can help to maintain biodiversity

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
136 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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