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Some people think that expanding with business and cultural contacts between the countries is is positive development our other believe that it leading to loss of national identity discuss both the view give your opinion

Some people think that expanding with business and cultural contacts between the countries is is positive development our other believe that it leading to loss of national identity discuss both the view give your opinion XERVw
It is often argued by certain individuals that doing business and cultural contacts between different nations is positive development. While, other reckon that it lead to losing national identity. This essay will articulate the both views along with my perspective that doing business and cultural contacts between different nations have positive development. To commence with, there are numerous benefits of doing business and sharing culture contacts with different countries. The predominant one is, it boosts the employment opportunities for individuals. In other words, nowadays, the multinational companies has established on every corner of the world. which provides jobs to people with handsome wages. For example, a survey was conducted by the government of the UK in 2019 which found that 80 percent mankind got work in multinational firms. Hence, it is proved that doing business and sharing culture contacts have positive development for nation. On the other hand, other commentators advocate that inclining business and cultural contacts between countries lead to lossing national identity. Firstly, people are adapting the western culture and forgetting their culture and tradition. To explain it, at present, people are prefer to wear western clothes with brands. There are numerous brands clothes are available in market. For instance, nike, Addidas, brench. Which influence the individual very badly. Therefore, people are forgetting their roots and prefer to wear western clothes. To sum up, I would like to establish doing business and cultural contacts between nations have positive development as it provides work chances to masses. Which make the life of individuals more convenient and comfortable.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued by certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contacts
between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
reckon that it lead to losing national identity. This essay will articulate the both views along with my perspective that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contacts
between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. To commence with, there are numerous benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contacts
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries. The predominant one is, it boosts the employment opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, nowadays, the multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
has established on every corner of the world.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
which
provides jobs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with handsome wages.
For example
, a survey
was conducted
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of the UK in 2019 which found that 80 percent mankind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
work in multinational firms.
Hence
, it
is proved
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contacts
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
for nation.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
commentators advocate that inclining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contacts
between countries lead to
Possible spelling mistake found.
lossing
national identity.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are adapting the western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and forgetting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and tradition. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it, at present,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are prefer to wear western clothes with brands. There are numerous brands clothes are available in market.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
nike
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Addidas
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
brench
.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
influence the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
badly
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are forgetting their roots and prefer to wear western clothes. To sum up, I would like to establish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contacts
between nations have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
as it provides work chances to masses. Which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
more convenient and comfortable.
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IELTS essay Some people think that expanding with business and cultural contacts between the countries is is positive development our other believe that it leading to loss of national identity discuss both the view give your opinion

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
258 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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