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Some people think that everyone should go to the gym, while others believe that there are other ways to stay fit. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think that everyone should go to the gym, while others believe that there are other ways to stay fit. BJJ9m
People have become more health conscious nowadays around the world. Some people hold the view that exercise at the gym is the best way to stay fit, others observe that there are numerous ways to lead a healthy life. In my opinion, a person can stay healthy after doing physical work and activities. Many people join the fitness clubs in order to be in shape. Because workout and diet plans under supervision can be a significant way to be healthy, people usually go there. For example, regular gyming and proper diet plans are vital in these directions which eventually helpful for them to get desired results. Indeed, workout at gyms is one of the best ways. On the other hand, outdoor sports and other physical activities can be another ways to stay healthy. Because many of us do not have spare time to go to the gym owing to our busy lifestyle, we can do other actions for fitness. For example, if workers at workplaces use stairs rather than lifts, they can burn their extra fat and calories. These steps can play an important role to maintain our fitness level especially for those who are struggling with time management. Staying healthy has become a topic of debate worldwide. While fitness centers can be a good option for those who have time to invest there, outdoor and physical activities can be another way for large populations to achieve the same. In my opinion, our daily habits and work are more effective ways to stay healthy.
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People
have become more health conscious nowadays around the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold the view that exercise at the gym is the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
fit, others observe that there are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to lead a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
life. In my opinion, a person can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
after doing physical work and activities.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
clubs in order to be in shape.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
workout and diet plans under supervision can be a significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
go there.
For example
, regular
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gyming
and proper diet plans are vital in these directions which
eventually
helpful for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
desired results.
Indeed
, workout at gyms is one of the best ways.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, outdoor sports and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
physical activities can be another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of us do not have spare time to go to the gym owing to our busy lifestyle, we can do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
actions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
.
For example
, if workers at workplaces
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
stairs
rather
than lifts, they can burn their extra
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and calories. These steps can play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to maintain our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
level
especially
for those who are struggling with time management.

Staying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
has become a topic of debate worldwide. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
centers can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
option for those who have time to invest there, outdoor and physical activities can be another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
for large populations to achieve the same. In my opinion, our daily habits and work are more effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that everyone should go to the gym, while others believe that there are other ways to stay fit.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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