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Some people believe that economic progress is the only way to measure a country’s success, while others think that there are other factors. What are these factors? Which one is more important than others

Some people believe that economic progress is the only way to measure a country’s success, while others think that there are other factors. What are these factors? Which one is more important than others m11o1
Many people claim that country's success depends on only way to measure is economic progress, while others opine that there is variety of factors. I will consider arguments in the next paragraphs. What are the other factors which lead to flourishing country? What factor is more crucial than others? First of all, education plays a big role in the society. Country can not be favorable without scientists, doctors and other carriers. Furthermore, prosperous countries pay attention to education because the future is on the hands of growing generation. Also, there is sport factor which should be considered however, this is not important as education development. In addition, crime rate. Low point of crime helps country become successful and flourishing. For instance, If there are many crime cases in the country it will be shown by reporters. As a consequence, it prevents furthercooperationand investmentsfrom foreignbanks or major companies. Education also, plays significant role in prevention of crime rate in the country. In my opinion, crucial factor of development country is education. Education is the most important factor because not educated people can not rise up the country. Always first place are taken by countries with good education system than others. To draw the conclusion, I agree with people who consider that there are other factors which play meaningful role in favorable of the country, but I would contend that education plays not irreplaceable role than other.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that country's success depends on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to measure is economic progress, while others opine that there is variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
. I will consider arguments in the
next
paragraphs. What are the
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
which lead to flourishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
? What
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factor
is more crucial than others?

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
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education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plays
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
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role
in the society.
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Country
can not be favorable without scientists, doctors and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
carriers.
Furthermore
, prosperous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
pay attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the future is on the hands of growing generation.
Also
, there is sport
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factor
which should
be considered
however
, this is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as
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education
development.

In addition
,
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crime
rate. Low point of
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crime
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
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country
become successful and flourishing.
For instance
, If there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
cases in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
it will
be shown
by reporters. As a consequence, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
Possible spelling mistake found.
furthercooperationand
Possible spelling mistake found.
investmentsfrom
Possible spelling mistake found.
foreignbanks
or major
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companies
.
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Education
also
,
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plays
significant
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role
in prevention of
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crime
rate in the country.

In my opinion, crucial
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factor
of development
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country
is
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education
.
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Education
is the most
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important
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factor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not educated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can not rise up the
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country
. Always
first
place
are taken
by
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countries
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system than others.

To draw the conclusion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who consider that there are
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other
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factors
which
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play
meaningful
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role
in favorable of the
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country
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I would contend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plays
not irreplaceable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that economic progress is the only way to measure a country’s success, while others think that there are other factors. What are these factors? Which one is more important than others

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
235 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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