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For the comprehensive development of children, schools should have a perfect mix of academic as well as non-academic subjects. According to some people, it should be made compulsory for students to learn music, acting and creative writing. However, these subjects will enhance their creative skills and I agree with this viewpoint and will be discussed in upcoming paragraphs. To start with, having extracurricular subjects such as drama, arts and creative writing in the syllabus helps students enormously. Due to the fact, when students learn these courses, it enables them to develop their thinking and imaginative skills, which are beneficial for learning academic subjects. To illustrate, with higher imagination capabilities, however, students will be able to solve a complex mathematics problem. Additionally, a number of children have artistic skills so these classes will give them a platform where they can develop these abilities further. Furthermore, having non-academic subjects in the

For the comprehensive development of children, schools should have a perfect mix of academic as well as non-academic subjects. According to some people, it should be made compulsory for students to learn music, acting and creative writing. However, these subjects will enhance their creative skills and I agree with this viewpoint and will be discussed in upcoming paragraphs. To start with, having extracurricular subjects such as drama, arts and creative writing in the syllabus helps students enormously. Due to the fact, when students learn these courses, it enables them to develop their thinking and imaginative skills, which are beneficial for learning academic subjects. To illustrate, with higher imagination capabilities, however, students will be able to solve a complex mathematics problem. Additionally, a number of children have artistic skills so these classes will give them a platform where they can develop these abilities further. Furthermore, having non-academic subjects in the 7aab5
For the comprehensive development of children, schools should have a perfect mix of academic as well as non-academic subjects. According to some people, it should be made compulsory for students to learn music, acting and creative writing. However, these subjects will enhance their creative skills and I agree with this viewpoint and will be discussed in upcoming paragraphs. To start with, having extracurricular subjects such as drama, arts and creative writing in the syllabus helps students enormously. Due to the fact, when students learn these courses, it enables them to develop their thinking and imaginative skills, which are beneficial for learning academic subjects. To illustrate, with higher imagination capabilities, however, students will be able to solve a complex mathematics problem. Additionally, a number of children have artistic skills so these classes will give them a platform where they can develop these abilities further. Furthermore, having non-academic subjects in the syllabus is that it alleviates the academic pressure on children. Moreover, these subjects give students a much needed break from their regular academic curriculum. Undoubtedly, competition among students has increased which can sometimes lead to stress. Therefore, it has become peremptory for both schools and parents to let children spend some time on such activities which can give them a chance to relax their mind and body. If, however, students are not given this break, it will become difficult for them to stay focused and motivated in other subjects because of stress. To conclude, including arts, music, drama and creative writing in school curriculum will help students to strengthening their thinking power and relaxing their mind; therefore, they should be made a mandatory part of school syllabus.
For the comprehensive development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should have a perfect mix of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
as well
as non-academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, it should
be made
compulsory for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to learn music, acting and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
writing.
However
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
will enhance their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this viewpoint and will
be discussed
in upcoming paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, having extracurricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as drama, arts and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
writing in the syllabus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
enormously
. Due to the fact, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learn these courses, it enables them to develop their thinking and imaginative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which are beneficial for learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. To illustrate, with higher imagination capabilities,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will be able to solve a complex mathematics problem.
Additionally
, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have artistic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
these classes will give them a platform where they can develop these abilities
further
.

Furthermore
, having non-academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in the syllabus is that it alleviates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
pressure on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Moreover
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
much needed
break from their regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
curriculum.
Undoubtedly
, competition among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
has increased which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Therefore
, it has become peremptory for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time on such activities which can give them a chance to relax their mind and body. If,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
this break, it will become difficult for them to stay focused and motivated in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

To conclude
, including arts, music, drama and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
writing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to strengthening their thinking power and relaxing their mind;
therefore
, they should
be made
a mandatory part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
syllabus.
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IELTS essay For the comprehensive development of children, schools should have a perfect mix of academic as well as non-academic subjects. According to some people, it should be made compulsory for students to learn music, acting and creative writing. However, these subjects will enhance their creative skills and I agree with this viewpoint and will be discussed in upcoming paragraphs. To start with, having extracurricular subjects such as drama, arts and creative writing in the syllabus helps students enormously. Due to the fact, when students learn these courses, it enables them to develop their thinking and imaginative skills, which are beneficial for learning academic subjects. To illustrate, with higher imagination capabilities, however, students will be able to solve a complex mathematics problem. Additionally, a number of children have artistic skills so these classes will give them a platform where they can develop these abilities further. Furthermore, having non-academic subjects in the

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • For the comprehensive development of children, schools should have a perfect mix of academic as well as non-academic subjects. According to some people, it should be made compulsory for students to learn music, acting and creative writing. However, these subjects will enhance their creative skills and I agree with this viewpoint and will be discussed in upcoming paragraphs. To start with, having extracurricular subjects such as drama, arts and creative writing in the syllabus helps students enormously. Due to the fact, when students learn these courses, it enables them to develop their thinking and imaginative skills, which are beneficial for learning academic subjects. To illustrate, with higher imagination capabilities, however, students will be able to solve a complex mathematics problem. Additionally, a number of children have artistic skills so these classes will give them a platform where they can develop these abilities further. Furthermore, having non-academic subjects in the